


Aubade

by notaliteraltoad



Series: Aubade [1]
Category: Until Dawn (Video Game)
Genre: Body Horror, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Josh Washington Lives, Mental Health Issues, Post-Canon, Slow Burn, Wendigo Josh Washington
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-01
Updated: 2018-08-17
Packaged: 2019-03-24 21:22:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 37,483
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13819689
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notaliteraltoad/pseuds/notaliteraltoad
Summary: Every morning Sam turns on her music and lets Josh's favourite song drift through the house. Sometimes she sings along; sometimes she only cries.Sam plays that same song as dawn breaks over the mountain and she climbs, climbs up to the burned remains of the lodge. She sings.Distantly, a hoarse voice sings back.





	1. Prologue: Before

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's been done before, but I really wanted to write my take on Wendigo!Josh and the fix-it fic he deserves!

**_Playlist_ **   
_Captains of the Sky by Sky Sailing (the Prom song)_  
_Fireflies by Owl City (played at Em's house)_  
_My Silver Lining by First Aid Kit (Josh & Sam's theme)  
_[[link]](https://www.deezer.com/en/playlist/4276041242)

* * *

**_Aubade (n)_  
 _A song or poem meeting the dawn_ or _a song or poem of lovers parting at daw_ n**

 

* * *

 

Music. It had always played a part in Sam’s life. She always remembered _that one song_ from every big event in her life; like the first song at prom when Chris stretched out his hand and asked, in the cheesiest voice he could muster, _care for a dance, my lady?_ She had laughed then, smiling wide, and accepted his hand.

The first time she had visited Emily at her house; eyes wide, mouth gaping as she stared at the interior of the beautiful, ultra-modern penthouse apartment. Emily had her Ipod playing in the background, a soft, quiet tune that somehow expressed Sam’s wonder just perfectly.

One song always stuck in her mind the most, though - above all, that _one_ specific song had its way of creeping back into her mind when she least expected it. Or maybe it wasn’t so unexpected after all, considering who’s song it was.

She had been sitting in the Washington’s living room, painting Beth’s nails in gaudy pink in preparation for some date Hannah had set up with a guy at school. Laughter bubbled up in Sam’s throat at a snarky comment from Hannah and she opened her mouth for an equally sarcastic reply-

Only for her thoughts to be splintered into a million pieces by First Aid Kits  _Silver Lining_  hollering at them from the stereo on the mantelpiece.

Seconds later a tall, gangly guy came careening around the corner and into the living room, bare feet sliding across the wooden floor. “Aw fuck, forgot my Ipod was still connected to that damn thing. My bad guys.” He snorted out a laugh, sending Hannah and Beth a half-apologetic smile. It took a moment to realise there was a newcomer in the room. When he flashed Sam his signature grin, a small part of her melted. “Hey, you must be Sam, right? Nice to finally meet the gal Hannah’s been so chatty about.”

From that day forth, __Demons__ sort of became their song. Whenever the four of them hung out together, it always made an appearance - either by accident or on purpose. Every get together, every party, every study day - and those were frequent, since Hannah always left her homework too late and then needed Sam’s help to get it done in time.

Things were so easy back then, when their biggest worry was _have I done the physics homework?_ or _what am I going to wear to the party on Saturday?_ When Beth, Hannah and she spent their weekends shopping, or sneaked into an R-rated movie for the thrill of it.

Or when she and Josh skipped last period to hit the arcade. Just the two of them, crammed into a tiny booth, shoulders knocking as they tried to best each other at whatever new game made it’s appearance that month.

Yeah, everything had been so damn _simple._ Before the twins disappearance, before Josh went off his meds, before the Wendigos.

As Sam trekked up the white, snow-drowned mountain to the remains of the Washington’s lodge she knew, deep in her heart that no matter how desperately she wanted it to not be true, nothing was ever going to be simple again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not exactly the one to go to for popular music. My taste is 75% metal and rock, and the other 25% is the Bioshock soundtrack. Save me from my terrible music taste!
> 
> Minor edit: I changed Sam & Josh's theme for reasons in a later chapter! Yeah, I know the songs I'm using wouldn't exist at this point in time, but they're good songs!! <3


	2. Returned

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A full length chapter for you guys! Enjoy!
> 
> If you like this fic so far please consider leaving a review! Kudos are amazing, but reviews help me understand what you guys enjoy, and what I can do better on.

_**Playlist  
** Ruins of Rome by Sound of Arrows (played in Sam's earphones at the start)_  
_Where do We Go From Here by Ruelle_  
_There is Still Hope by Sound of Arrows_  
[[link](https://www.deezer.com/en/playlist/4276073142)]

* * *

 

Music blared through Sam’s earphones, drowning out the sound of the ancient cable-car as it stuttered and groaned. Each jarring lurch forward sent Sam’s heart up her throat, lips forming a tight line as she held back a feather-light gasp. The thing felt as if it could break apart any second; wire snapping, metal crumpling, sending her crashing to her death.

Once, a million years ago, Sam had ridden this cable car before. It hadn’t seemed so frightening then. _Nothing_ had.

When it finally shuddered to a stop, Sam released a breath that clouded the air around her. Blood pounded in her ears, quick and hot even though her face felt numb with cold.

The worst of it was, this was the easy part. The easiest part of it all. She still had to find Josh.

Climbing out of the cable car, Sam felt the sting of sharp wind nip her face. The thin scarf wound around her neck was not enough; since leaving Blackwood Pines three months ago the weather had only gotten worse. Despite the fact February was easing itself into March, the Washington mountain was laden with snow so deep that when Sam took her first step, pure white swallowed her up past the ankles.

“Great,” she muttered aloud as she tugged the scarf around her mouth and nose, “I’ve only just got here and already the weather’s going to cause a problem.” All things considered, snow wasn’t the worst thing to happen to her; not by a long shot. Even so, it felt very much like the mountain was against her.

But Sam was known for many things, and giving up wasn’t one of them. She came all the way back here to save Josh and dammit, that’s __exactly__ what she was going to do. Even if the snow gave way for a storm so furious it blew down what remains of the lodge, even if she had to drag Josh back home kicking and screaming, even if she had to fight a hundred Wendigos with her bare _fucking hands._

The last thought made her pause, one foot raised just above the untouched snow. A coldness crept into her, stilling her heart which was, moments ago, beating wildly. _Wendigos _.__ They were gone, right? When the lodge blew, Hannah and the rest of those creatures went along with it. The rest were still trapped down in the mines where the stranger left them, clawing at bars they could never break through.

Of course. No Wendigos were left on the Washington mountain. Just her, Josh, and a burned out lodge.

Suddenly a new song shrieked in Sam’s ears and she flinches. “ _Fuck, _”__ she muttered, cold hands fumbling for her phone.

If Jess was here she would have laughed and told her not to listen to music so loud, or she would damage her hearing. Then Chris would have rolled his eyes and said _Jess, stop mothering the poor girl._

But Jess and Chris weren’t here - it was just Sam, alone on a mountain, hoping against hope that her friend was still alive.

With a shiver, Sam took her first step. Then another, and another, until she was slowly trudging herself along the snow covered footpath up to the charred remnants of the lodge.

On the way she called Chris. Her phone barely rang once before Chris’ voice crackled on the other end. “Sam! Jesus, I thought you were never going to call. My cell’s been glued to me all day. Tell me everything.”

She let out a strained laugh but it was forced, sour on her tongue. It was all for Chris’ benefit - she felt as if her insides were freezing over, and only partly because of the snow. “I told you I’d call as soon as I got a concrete lead on Josh, but I’ve barely been here two minutes.” The thick straps of the backpack dug into her shoulders even through her heavy coat and she fumbled to adjust it without dropping the phone. “I just called to let you know I made it in one piece.”

“I know, but I worry.” On the other end, Chris’ voice was thick with static, but Sam thought she heard him sniffle, “I don’t know what I’d do if I lost two friends to that goddamn mountain.”

Sam breathed out a sigh, body softening as she took another step into the snow. “You’re fine, I’m fine, and with any luck Josh will be too. I’ll keep you updated.” She paused, then, “how is everyone else?”

The question was hollow. She knew _exactly_ how everyone was. With most of one hand reduced to three fingered pulp, he struggled with even the most basic tasks. Jess woke herself up every night, screaming and thrashing at dark creatures that weren’t there. Matt and Em were, somehow, closer than ever - but Em often wouldn’t speak for days at a time, locked away in her room. Matt didn’t fare much better, closing himself off in a way he never did before. Ash, scarred most by Josh and least by the Wendigos, refused to even say his name.

And Chris, sweet and loving Chris would have been up here on the mountain himself, with her, if she hadn’t insisted she needed him back home. Of everyone, she and Chris loved Josh most - but that didn’t mean she wanted him to needlessly suffer more than he already had.

She didn’t want to be there either - but she had failed Josh once. How stupid had she been, to really think she knew how to help Josh? She had thought they were __genuine,__ that he shared everything with her; but it was all an elaborately staged act. One she had blindly taken for the real thing. _Pathetic._

Sam wasn’t listening, lost in the deep rabbit hole of her own downward spiral, and Chris’ words slipped past her ears. How long had she been standing in the snow?

“Sam?”

“Huh? Sorry, what was that?” The familiar heaviness of guilt settled in her stomach. With a huff she kept moving, forcing one foot in front of the other despite the cold dampness seeping into her boots.

Chris sighed; but it was a gentle, patient sound. “Nothing, doesn’t matter. You keep yourself safe, yeah - and don’t leave me hanging again! I thought you’d been chomped by a Wendigo.”

The joke was well meaning, but Sam shuddered anyway, squeezing her eyes closed. She had to stop working herself up like that - how was she supposed to help Josh get home safely if she couldn’t even hold herself together? He needed someone strong and capable, able to push their own needs aside to help him. Selfless, people called her. It was about time she lived up to that reputation.

Despite being hundreds of miles away, Chris seemed to sense her discomfort. “Too soon? Sorry, Sam.”

Forcing another laugh, she replied, “don’t worry about it. God knows I need some poorly timed humour - this place sucks.”

“You said it girl. Look, I have to go - but phone me the _second_ anything happens. Got it?”

“Got it. See you soon.”

“Stay safe, Sammy.”

The call ended and was quickly replaced by her music again - this song a loud, upbeat indie song that hadn’t been popular in years. It’s preppy drum beat and cheerful lyrics did nothing to improve her mood.

Talking with Chris should have made her feel better and yeah, okay, remembering she had friends back home and _wasn’t_ going to be stuck on this shithole of a mountain forever was nice. She still wasn’t looking forward to what was ahead, though. She was crazy, coming back here alone - back to the place where her two best friends had died, and the rest of them very nearly could have.

If she could, Sam would have loved to burn the entire white hellscape to a crisp.

The lodge slowly swam into view as she marched onward - one end perfect, a true testament to the Washington’s wealth; the other little more than a torched skeleton. Beside it stood the cabin, a grim reminder of the torture Jess had been through.

 _Nearly there._ The closer Sam got, the more difficult it became to put one foot in front of the other. So much had happened there - had that camera survived the explosion? Was that video of her bathing still hiding somewhere, for some stranger to find in a few years time? It was the least of the things that had happened to her, but the thing that stuck the most.

She had trusted Josh with all she had; shared her grieving with him after Beth and Hannah’s disappearance, told him things she hadn’t even dared tell Ashley or Chris. Sometimes, when Emily told her he didn’t deserve their forgiveness, Sam almost agreed.

He was sick, though - and sure, going off his meds was his own fault, but he wasn’t entirely to blame. They all were, for not seeing the signs; or for ignoring them. Looking back it had been so _obvious_ that he was suffering, but Sam had been too wrapped up in her own grief to really see it. Josh, always the cheerful one, had sounded so __strong__ he had convinced Sam he was coping fine. She should have known the truth.

She hadn’t even seen it when Josh phoned her in the middle of the night, voice so thick with tears he could barely speak. It was normal grieving, she thought.

Guilt settled in her stomach, heavy and cloying, and for a brief moment bile rose in the back of her throat. She had been so _stupid,_ so _selfish._

She continued on in silence, the music pounding in her ears. It blocked out everything else, even the sound of her own laboured breathing as she trekked on. Her calves started to burn, the sensation not entirely unpleasant. Even for someone like her, with strong legs and an athlete’s body, this much snow was taxing.

When Sam’s gloved hand clasped the door handle to the cabin door, the relief felt tangible. Finally somewhere _warm _-__ and somewhere with locked doors and windows. Solid walls between her and the mountain were more than welcome.

The first thing Sam did was lock the door behind her. The broken window caught her eye and she wandered over, brow furrowed. There was one long, razor sharp shard sticking  up from the window sill - with a spot of long dried blood. Jess’. Suppressing a shudder, Sam turned away.

She was fine. The only problem the broken window gave her was the cold snow blowing into the living room. Nothing was going to come crawling through and drag her into the mines. All of that was _over._

Sam remained unconvinced.

Turning away from the shattered window, Sam dumped her pack unceremoniously onto the leather sofa. The relief was instant - the ache from the thick straps disappeared at once, leaving behind only a dull stiffness between her shoulder blades. The cold didn’t help, and she would  have killed for a shower; but that would have to wait. Even five minutes under the water was wasting precious time - time she needed to utilise.

The thought of Josh down there in the mines, lost and terrified, unable to get out… Sam felt ill.

Fetching a notepad and pen from her backpack, Sam settled onto the sofa with her legs curled underneath her. This was her time to brainstorm - then it was into the mines to get Josh.

Tapping her pen against her knee, sound muffled by her thick leggings, it suddenly occurred to Sam how under prepared she was. This was something she should have done _before_ arriving on the mountain. She had put so much thought into how to get here, what to tell her parents in her absence - all of the preparation up to this point. When it came to _actually_ getting Josh back - well, she really had no clue. Another failure in her long line of them.

Jesus, no wonder Josh hadn’t trusted her. She was __useless.__  Kind, selfless Sam -  that’s what people always thought of her. Yeah, she tried her best; she would have gone to the end of the earth for any one of her friends. Really though, how good was she if she couldn’t even tell one of her best friends were suffering?

Liquid dripped onto Sam’s cheek and she wiped it away with the back of a hand. Great, now she was crying too. Couldn’t she just hold it together for a couple of days? She had no right to cry - not when Josh was lost, when Jess and Ash and Chris had been through so much. Her own experience was nothing in comparison.

 _But,_ a small voice whispered in her ear, _what Josh did was still fucked up. Why do you even want to save him?_

Now, that was just Emily talking.

With a huff she tossed the notebook aside - where it thudded against the coffee table. The pen rolled off somewhere underneath an armchair. She was no use like this - maybe that shower __was__ a good idea. She needed to calm down if she was going into those mines.

As Sam went in search of clean towels, she kept an eye on the broken window. It was stupid - _nothing_ was there - but she couldn’t shake the feeling someone was watching her. No, _something._

There was a stash of fluffy blue towels hidden in a cupboard by the fireplace. They smelled a little musty from disuse, but who was she to complain? Grabbing one, Sam hip-checked the cupboard closed.

Just as a long, drawn out shriek reached her ears. It was a horrible amalgam of human and… _something else _,__ like someone dragging nails across a chalk board as they screamed.

Sam froze. Towels clutched in her hands like a shield, her eyes darted to the window. Outside, the sun dipped low on the horizon, casting a pink tinge across the snow. Then something flashed past - a streak of grey against the sunset, inches from the window.

Another shriek, and then two luminescent eyes stared straight at Sam as a clawed hand snaked its way into the cabin.


	3. Found

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late replies. Honestly, my excuse is kind of lame - I got into a Netflix binge session and Until Dawn got put on the backburner for newer fandoms. I'm back now, though!
> 
> As always, reviews aren't mandatory but are greatly appreciated!!

_**Playlist  
** O'Death by Amy Van Roekel from the Until Dawn OST_  
_Cloud of Unknowing by Gorillaz_  
_White Fanged Foreverness by Mariee Sioux_  
_Human by Rag'n'Bone Man_  
[[link](https://www.deezer.com/en/playlist/4276419362)]

* * *

 

Sam’s mind screamed at her to run, to sprint for the bathroom, or the kitchen - _anything_ to put a door between her and the monster slowly clambering through the window.

But she couldn’t. Standing still was the only way to stay alive. So while the hot panic flooded through her, setting her torso on fire as her chest thudded wildly, Sam forced herself to freeze. Her shuddering breaths _must_ have been loud enough for the Wendigo to hear - they were blind, but were they deaf too? What if it heard her muffled gasps or her beating heart? What if it came over here - could she really stand still for long enough if it decided to hang around? She couldn’t die - not now, not before she found if Josh was alive or not. Not when she had survived so much on this mountain before.

Tears pricked the corner of Sam’s eyes, blurring her vision of the Wendigo still slowly inching its way inside. Her hands were beginning to shake, clenched into fists, but she couldn’t make it stop. Why wasn’t her body doing what she wanted? She _needed_ to stand still, dammit!

If she died now, alone on this mountain, what would happen? Only Chris knew the truth - not even her own parents knew she was here. Tears continued to spill from her cheeks and she blinked them away; the most movement she dared to risk.

When Sam’s vision cleared the Wendigo sat perched on the windowsill, elongated limbs hunched around its too-thin body. It was staring directly at her. One leg dropped down onto the floor, then the other. The talon-like nails screeched against the wooden floor and left long, harsh grooves.

Panic welled up inside Sam’s chest and she fought the urge to flinch. Any movement at all, even the tiniest twitch and she was done for. She sucked in a breath as the creature slinked forward, breathing shallow, stomach twisting into sickening knots. Her mouth tasted dry, like sandpaper, tongue rough against her teeth.

When did she start to feel so lightheaded?

The Wendigo made a shrill, almost birdlike sound - if birds had a way of sounding eerily human. It hadn’t approached her yet, but as Sam’s eyes fixed on it she could have sworn it knew she was there. Then its blank white eyes flickered away from Sam, watery gaze unfocused.

Sam’s breathing quickened, short rasps that sounded deafening in  her ears-

Then the Wendigo let out one last inhuman shriek, whipped its head around - and disappeared back into the cold evening snow.

Sam’s legs couldn’t hold her any more and she collapsed into a messy pile on the floor. In the thick silence of the cabin her heavy breaths felt suddenly deafening and __God__ her chest hurt! It felt as if that Wendigo was perched right on top of her, squeezing the air from her lungs.

 _Panic attack,_ her mind reasoned, but Sam was too exhausted to care. She wasn’t torn to shreds, and that was the only thing that mattered. She was alive!

Distantly another shriek echoed, sound muted by the thick snow. Then a second - different this time. Deeper, less _feral,_ but still very much a Wendigo. Eventually the sounds petered out to nothing, and it was as if nothing had happened at all.

Shuddering, Sam pulled her knees up to her chest, toned arms wrapping around her legs. Her breathing began to mellow out, but her chest still ached like she had just ran a marathon. No, Sam was a runner and her chest had __never__ felt this tight. Fear was one hell of a thing.

She sat like that for a while, eyes closed and head resting against the cupboard door. If she ignored the chilling breeze from the broken window and her uneven breaths, she could _almost_ pretend she was home. Almost.

A subtle scratching noise reached Sam’s ears; so faint she might have missed it had the cabin not been so completely void of any other noise. The quiet scratch of nails against wood, much like Emily’s cat when it tried to scramble onto their oak coffee table. It also sounded like Wendigo claws trying to grip the windowsill.

Eyes snapping open, Sam launched herself to her feet. In all of her days running, climbing and swimming, she had never moved so lightning fast. Then she immediately froze - she was __not__ going to get herself killed by doing something stupid! Her eyes roved to the shattered window, squinting in the dimness.

Her first thought when her blue eyes met pale white ones was that the Wendigo was back. It was bored of whatever it saw outside and here it was, ready to eat her up. This one was different, though. _Human._ Instead of a pale, twisted face there was tanned skin and a mop of curly black hair. It had probably been stylish once, but now it was overgrown and knotted. Below that crazed mess was one white eye reflecting in the dim light - and one striking green one.

“Holy shit, _Josh!_ ” As soon as the exclamation slipped from her mouth Sam clamped her lips closed. What was she thinking, letting that thing know where she was? Idiot!

But the Wendigo didn’t fling itself at her with teeth bared - in fact, it only tilted it’s head to the side, staring at her through mismatched eyes. When it hopped down from the windowsill, Sam had a clear view of the tattered denim overalls hanging off it’s skinny frame.

Sam’s heart dropped and she physically _felt_ her chest hurt for him. All this time she had expected to find him malnourished, in need of food and medication but __alive__ and desperate for help. Or perhaps deluded and angry, maybe even violent - but in the end, she would have convinced him to come home. _This,_ she had never accounted for.

Josh Washington, her best friend, was a fucking _Wendigo._

What was she going to tell Chris?

She watched with muted horror as Josh inched forward. His limbs were too long for his body, bony arms hanging limply like he didn’t know what to do with them. The closer he got, the better Sam could see him - and that __wasn__ _ _’t__ a good thing. One side of his face was torn to shreds, sharp teeth poking through the holes in his cheek. It looked like a half-finished movie prosthetic, a horrible amalgamation of human and… there weren’t even words for a decent comparison.

Sam stared at him with wide blue eyes. It hurt to look - but tearing her eyes away seemed impossible. She was transfixed by the way he moved; jerky and clumsy, but so inhumanely agile on those claw-tipped feet.

 _It was her fault._ She and Mike left him down in the mines, trapped, without food or a way of escape. It was __her__ fault that he was like this now, just like it had been her fault he had suffered after his sisters’ deaths. He was a twisted caricature of who he had once been.

Josh might have even seen some ironic humour in that, if there was actually any of him left.

Warm tears threatened to spill over her cheeks again - why did she have to cry at _everything_ nowadays? Before this, before the Lodge, Sam had never cried at anything. Except for sad movies, but so did Ash and Mike.

Josh crept forward; and somehow his long limbs seemed to bend around themselves, knees bent at angles no human joint should be able to perform. It was sickening. When Sam’s eyes flickered up to his face, though, for a moment he looked so much like _Josh_ that she couldn’t help but sigh wistfully - then his maw of teeth glinted in the light and the image shattered.

It didn’t matter that he still had those gorgeous hazel eyes, or that his tangled mess of hair was so endearingly familiar. How much of Josh was really left in there? Maybe none at all.

He paused just before Sam and slowly leaned forward. His sour breath danced across her face and she fought back the urge to gag. Up close, every ragged tear in his skin was horribly clear; from the bloody mess of his mouth to the peeled back eyelid of his still-green eye. When he blinked, only the white eye closed.

If she hadn’t known better, it could have been a wink.

“Josh?” Sam’s voice was small, insignificant compared to the blood rushing in her ears or the pounding of her heart. She wanted so desperately for Josh to respond, to show any sign of just a little self-awareness or recognition he knew who she was. Even if he couldn’t talk with those shark-like teeth, maybe he could at least _try_ to communicate-

 _“Josh?”_ His lips moved, but it was a perfect replica of Sam’s voice mirrored back at her.

With a shriek Sam careened back, lean arms pushing hard against Josh’s shoulders. Her movements weren’t her own, fuelled by the need to _get away_ as fast as possible - away from the thing that mimicked her voice, from the boy that wasn’t a boy any more.

Josh stumbled back, although Sam’s push had done little to the surprisingly immovable Wendigo. He tilted his head and a soft, almost _curious_ chirp left his mangled mouth. He didn’t move toward her - just stood there, frighteningly still, greasy hair falling in his eyes. Still in Sam’s voice he repeated, “Josh?”

Then, one gnarled hand raised to point directly at her, he said, “Sam?” His voice was his own.

She couldn’t have cried, or jumped for joy, or collapsed into a boneless mess. Maybe all at once. Her brain swirled with a million thoughts; _he knows who I am! But how much does he remember? Enough to come home, or little enough to try to eat me as soon as my back is turned?_

“Josh I-” Wait, what was she thinking? Did he even understand enough to know what she was going to say? Probably not, but she couldn’t just stand here and not tell him how sorry she was - for not being there for him, for not noticing his spiral of depression, for leaving him alone in the mines. If only she could make him _understand._

With a slow breath, Sam silently willed her thudding heart to calm. It didn’t do much good, but the breathing exercises help calm her mind of the nervous chatter. “I’m sorry we left you down there. If I’d known you were still alive - if I’d known this had happened - I would have stayed. They sent a team to look for you - a mountain rescue team, helicopters, the works. We never found you.” Warmth decorated her cheeks again and she swiped away the tears that pooled there. “Just… nod if you can understand me, okay?”

Josh just stared, those eerily wide eyes unblinking. The left one, with its milky white sheen, looked as pale as the moon.

Right, obviously he didn’t have a clue what she was talking about. It was too much to ask for - the fact he wasn’t trying to munch on her face was more than she could have expected. With a small sigh, Sam took a step away from Josh. Cool air hit her face - a welcome change from the thick, hot stench of his breath. It still burned the back of her nose.

“Look, if you’re not going to attack me, can you please stay here? I need to shower, and then tell Chris I found you. Oh, he isn’t going to like this…” Neither did she, mind you. She quickly snatched up the towel that had fallen to the floor. It was far too close to Josh’s filthy feet and although he seemed docile enough, those sharp teeth were enough of a motivator to spread some distance.

Her chest still felt oddly tight and her head was beginning to pound viciously. A shower would do her good. Warm, soapy water, some music, and a chance to think things over. There was the lingering fear in her mind that Josh might try something while she was in the bathroom - he seemed tame, but he was still a _Wendigo._ Or at least mostly.

As she backed toward the bathroom door, Josh continued to stare. His mouth hung permanently open; his teeth were too big for his mouth, sharp ends digging into flesh.

As soon as Sam’s hand found the door handle she slipped inside the bathroom, door clicking shut behind her.

The last thing she saw was Josh’s reflective eye peering at her from the darkness of the room.


	4. Surprise

_**Playlist**_  
_I'll Keep Coming by Low Roar_  
_Paper Boats by Ashley Barrett & Darren Korb (Transistor soundtrack)_  
_Losing My Mind by Mystery Skulls_  
[[Link](https://www.deezer.com/en/playlist/4293165702)]

* * *

 

Sam’s whole body relaxed as she stepped into the steaming shower. Warm water rushed over her shoulders and the relief was almost instant. Tight muscles, aching from the hike up the mountain, almost seemed to sigh in relief. As steam began to fill the shower, blocking her view of the bathroom, Sam could have almost pretended everything was okay.

As she reached out for a bottle of shampoo, Sam noted it was one of the fancy strawberry scented ones that Mike and Jesse liked. She had never understood Jesse’s obsession with fruit scented products - strawberry shampoo, coconut body wash, pomegranate moisturiser. Even her perfume smelled like berries.

Well, there wasn’t exactly an alternative. It wasn’t as if it was possible to just run to the store and grab something else. So strawberry it was. Sam lathered it up and gently massaged it into her scalp. It felt _amazing_ to just close her eyes and focus on the movement of her hands through her hair. It was getting too long, really, but she had been too focused on other things to make an appointment with her hairdresser. Anyway, Ashley said it was cute.

Water and soapy white shampoo spiralled down the drain, leaving Sam’s hair the kind of silky smooth only the most expensive products achieved. For a moment she considered another wash - but Josh was waiting for her outside. He had been trapped for months, with no way off of the mountain, not knowing if anyone was coming back. She wasn’t going to make him wait another minute.

She reached out for the shower dial, and the soothing rush of water cut off. Immediately the cold started to seep back into her skin, leaving gooseflesh across her pale arms. Quickly wrapping the towel around herself, Sam left the shower and went to grab her clothes.

She cast the bath an uneasy glance as she passed it. Coming in, she had been fine - but now, standing there in only a thin white towel… She bit back a shaky breath and turned away. Unable to get her clothes on fast enough, Sam threw the towel to the floor without sparing it a second glance. For a moment, standing there by the bath, she thought she was going to be sick. Her stomach rolled, vision blurred - but then she was suddenly fully clothed, damp hair slowly spreading a damp patch across her back.

Tossing the blonde mass into a messy bun, not caring if it got tangled, Sam wrenched open the door and all but _fell_ into the living room.

The living room - which was completely empty.

Sam’s heart plummeted, leaving her with a dull, empty feeling in her chest. “Josh?” she called out, wide eyes desperately scanning for signs of life. He wasn’t where she left him - staring after her like a lost puppy. But he wasn’t anywhere else, either. The door was still closed - maybe he was in another room?

She cast a furtive glance through the shattered window as she sprinted passed - but there was no Wendigo outside, Josh or otherwise. She raced into the kitchen, socks skidding on the old wooden floor, and she snatched hold of the door frame to keep from collapsing into a heap. Her stomach felt like it was making an attempt to leave her body, rumbling uneasily as if she was about to vomit up her entire day’s worth of food. Josh had to be here _somewhere_ \- he wouldn’t have left, not when he knew she was here!

The kitchen was void of life. In fact, no one had been there for quite some time. Dust coated the counter tops, thick and grey. It covered the floor too, and there wasn’t a single footprint or smear.

“Josh?” Sam repeated - and her voice came out high pitched, almost squeaky. Her heart picked up speed, head pounding dully in the back of her skull.

He was really _gone._ She had only just got him back and he was _gone again _.__  It was her own damn fault. Putting her own needs above his own, leaving him by himself as if her fucking _hygiene_ was more important than the safety of her best friend. As always, she had failed the person she loved most.

Worst of all, it was too dark to go looking for him now. Outside was nothing but pitch blackness, lightened only by the thick snow covering the mountain. Remembering the shrieks of the Wendigo, its pale face staring at her, Sam shuddered. Tomorrow. Tomorrow she was going to find Josh.

After retrieving her backpack, Sam retreated into the bedroom. Although she was as wide awake as ever, mind buzzing with questions, her feet were slow and heavy. It felt as if she had tied bricks to her feet. She collapsed onto the bed with a sharp grunt. Maybe tomorrow things would be clearer. She could hope, anyway.

Dark eyes drifted to the shattered window, just visible from the bedroom. It was the perfect opening for Wendigos - a gaping hole in the wall just __begging__ them to come in. Her nose curled in disgust, a twinge of fear sparking through her chest. Windows weren’t even much of a defence - it was one of those same creatures that had grabbed Jess and made that hole in the first place. Sam’s hand reached for her bag, slender fingers searching in the gloom. When her hand found the small handgun, she sighed in relief.

Since her last trip to Washington Mountain, Sam had invested a lot of time and money into making sure she was defended at all times. Her mother had __hated__ the idea at first - but Nora Giddings had never been able to say no to her daughter. Especially after Sam had all but pleaded, claiming it was the only thing that would make her feel safe. Which was true of course - but she had a hidden agenda. Like taking it to Mount Washington, for example.

Sam’s hand clutched around the gun - unloaded, for now - and glared. Somehow this one thing signified everything that had gone wrong with her life. Never, __never__ had she lied to her mother before; now she was telling the biggest lie of all. _I’m off on a trip with Chris, s_ he had said, _I don’t know how long we plan to be away._ It hadn’t been so bad at first - but now the possibility of her dying up here was very real.

Bile rose in the back of Sam’s throat and she swallowed it down, ignoring the way tears pricked the corner of her eyes. She blindly grabbed for her phone, dialling Chris’ number before she knew what was happening.

“Hey Sam,” Chris’ groggy voice replied. It was staticky and distant; but just the sound of his voice flooded Sam with relief so strong she felt the odd compulsion to laugh.

“Chris! Jeez am I glad to hear your voice.”

She heard him laugh tiredly on the other side. “It’s always good to know I can make a lady’s day. So, any news on our boy?”

“Y-yeah.” Sam’s voice was little more than a croak. Her throat felt dry as she coughed and tried again. “Yeah, I have news.”

“Oh. That bad, huh?” The line crackled, Chris’ voice fading out for a moment. “All right, lay it on me. I’m prepared for the worst.” He didn’t sound like it - although she couldn’t see him, she knew by the waver in his voice that he was about to cry.

Sam blinked back her own tears as she sucked in a breath, preparing herself. “Josh is a Wendigo. I think. It’s hard to tell because he isn’t… he isn’t like Hannah. He still looks mostly like himself, and I __swear__ he understood when I spoke to him-”

“Woah, slow down Sammy! You mean to tell me you found a freaky flesh-eating Josh and you tried to _talk to him?_ That’s ridiculous!” Chris’ voice rose an octave - or ten - but Sam heard him quickly clamp a hand over his mouth. What followed was only silence.

For a long while, Sam didn’t speak; she just held the phone to her ear and focused on slow breaths which Chris mimicked on the other end. Eventually she huffed out a soft breath and said, “he’s still in there _somewhere._ I know it - I just have to figure out how to get him back.” When phrased like that, it seemed simple. All they needed was to snap Josh back to his senses - like all he needed was medication or a good stern talking to. No problem.

Yeah, because he was only turning into a cannibalistic monster. No big deal.

Chris let out a low groan, followed by the sounds of rustling. Sam pictured him perfectly as he collapsed onto his bed, face smushed into the pillow. It almost made her smile. “Look Sam, I love Josh like family - more than that, because I don’t even like my real family that much - but even I’m starting to question what you’re doing.”

Sam bit her lip, canine tooth sinking into the soft skin enough it stung. “I just need time to figure it out. I need to keep up the charade with my parents too - could you text dad tomorrow and tell him my phone’s broken or something? I don’t think I can face him tonight.”

There was a stretch of silence, and then, “sure thing Sammy. Good luck.”

“Yeah, thanks.” Her voice sounded flat even to her own ears - and all of a sudden she was struggling to keep her eyes open. Biting back a yawn, Sam shifted on the bed. “I’ll update you tomorrow. Night Chris.”

“Night Sam.”

She hung up, tossing the phone onto the bedside table. It was oak - expensive, like everything else the Washingtons owned - but at that moment it didn’t matter if she chipped it. Her gun lay on the bedside table, ammo tucked away in the bag for safekeeping. With one last check to make sure it was within reach, Sam was ready for sleep.

With a yawn loud enough to attract Wendigos from all over, Sam fell face first into the pillows. Her hair was still damp, clothes still on - but it was like every ounce of energy had been sapped from her very core.

Within moments, sleep found her.

* * *

 Warmth settled over Sam as she rolled over in bed. Enveloped in a duvet and two blankets, it felt like she was being cocooned by a cloud. It was so _cosy_ _…_  so why did she feel so uncomfortable? A shiver ran down her spine as she cracked an eye open - enough to peek over the duvet and peer into the darkness. Her dull, hazy mind couldn’t make out a single shape.

She sat up in bed, still damp hair falling in her eyes as her hand searched for the little side lamp. Instead of coming into contact with a plastic switch, Sam’s hand met cold, rough skin. The scream that left Sam’s lips rattled through the lodge, loud enough her ears _rang._ In the following moment silence descended upon her, thick and stifling as she desperately tried to hold herself still.

In the darkness one luminescent eye stared at her. Unblinking. The creature closed in on her, mouth a gaping maw of sharp teeth and ripped, bloody flesh.

Sam didn’t dare reach for her gun - not with the Wendigo’s hot breath against the skin of her neck. Fear froze her, stabbing at her insides like an ice cold knife. A ragged gasp escaped her and her heart thudded in her chest - but that didn’t matter any more. The scream had been enough, the Wendigo knew she was _right there,_ hand still hovering above its own.

The creature loomed ever closer. Its breath smelled like raw meat; like the butcher’s shop her mother loved but _stale,_ rotting. It’s face was so close now, just a vaguely human shape in the pitch black that seemed to be swallowing her whole.

Sam squeezed her eyes shut and sucked in a breath. Her breathing began to hitch and her head felt like it was on _fire._ Dully she knew she was seconds away from hyperventilating - but what did it matter when she was about to die?

The Wendigo made a sound that _could_ have been a word - but Sam’s brain was only a dull fog where nothing made sense any more. She gasped for air - but no matter how fast she breathed, oxygen seemed out of reach.

As she slipped into unconsciousness, falling endlessly backward, Sam saw a glint of razor sharp teeth descend upon her.


	5. Together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for such a late update folks! I try to update every week to 10 days but it isn't always possible. Anyway, enjoy!
> 
> As always I appreciate reviews, so if you can please leave me one! ❤❤

_**Playlist**_  
 _Come Undone by Carina Round_  
 _Retrograde by James Blake_  
 _Last Living Souls by Gorillaz_  
[[link](https://www.deezer.com/en/playlist/4336145302)]

* * *

 

Sam’s eyelids slowly fluttered open, a low groan escaping her chapped lips. A thin strip of light filtered through the thick curtains where they didn’t  _quite_  close - illuminating the bare, peach coloured wall across the room. Dark blue eyes scanned the bedroom, checking each corner and crevice for anything out of place. A slender hand reached out to slide open the drawer of the bedside table - and yes, her gun still sat there neatly as she left it.

The king bed seemed to stretch on forever as Sam swung her legs to the side. It was huge compared to the simple double Sam owned, big enough to comfortably fit three or even four people if they really wanted to. It had felt like  _heaven_ though. When was the last time Sam had slept so soundly? She hadn’t woken up once. Well, except for…

She shot bolt upright with enough force her bare feet slid on the cool wood of the floor, toes curling to search for grip that wasn’t there. When she came crashing back down onto the bed, legs giving way beneath her, a strained gasp erupted from her mouth. She was left staring up at the ceiling, gulping for air. Her breath came in short rasps as if she’d just run a mile - her heart was pounding too, the rush  _pounding_ in her ears. Squeezing her eyes shut, Sam forced down the urge to throw up.

Her closed eyes conjured up the image of one pale, reflective eye leering at her from the darkness of the bedroom. A hunched body with limbs far too long sat above her, torn up mouth the mockery of a smile.

It was too much to hope it had only been a nightmare, or some kind of sleep paralysis. Her cousin Lucy had suffered from that as a child; her half-awake mind creating illusions of creatures stalking around her room. That Wendigo though, with it’s cheerless grin and marred face… it had been too real.

So why was she still alive? More than that - completely unharmed? She had been right  _there _,__ trapped and at its mercy yet here she was, lying on the bed like an idiot trying not to puke her guts up.

Slowly, taking deep breaths in an attempt to slow her rapid heartbeat, Sam stuck her arms underneath herself and dragged her unwilling body into a sitting position. Blonde hair fell in her eyes and she brushed it back, but it only flopped back again. She sat there for a moment, sucking in long breaths. Breathe in, hold for three seconds, breathe out.

Chris had taught her that trick, one he claimed worked wonders for oncoming anxiety attacks. They had been fifteen, sitting in Sam’s bedroom as they studied for end of year exams. The workload was impossibly large - so immense that even Sam’s carefully planned study timetable hadn’t prepared her for just  _ _how much__ she needed to revise. The panic had just mounted up until she couldn’t take it any more - and then she’d suffered a full blown panic attack in the middle of a study session. That was the first time she had experienced it - and Chris had gently, warmly told her that it was  _ _okay,__ that he had them too.

They had been rare, then. She had only seen Chris have two since, and had been there to comfort him each time. Sam herself usually fought them off with only Chris’ technique and a good distraction. If only it was still that way.

With a grunt Sam shook her head - as if  _ _that__ could dispel her dark thoughts - and pulled herself back to her feet. She wobbled for a moment, thick legs violently losing all of their usual strength as she swayed. Dizzyness overcame her and the room seemed to sway with her for a moment before everything came rushing back into focus.

At that moment a resounding  _ _thud__ reached her ears - followed by a startled hiss that sounded  _almost_  like a not-quite-human  _‘fuck!’._

That sounded like…  _Josh._  He was back? A surprised snort left Sam before she could stop herself - but then she realised that someone was  _in the cabin_  and she didn’t know who. Her slender hand found the door handle and wrenched it open - then she was in the living room, bare foot and still in her wrinkled clothes from the day before. None of that mattered - not her clothes, or the cold breeze hitting her from the shattered window, or even the destroyed oak coffee table - wait…

Josh lay in the centre of the room, a tangle of bony limbs and broken chunks of wood. If not for the way the chunky fangs twisted the corner of his mouth, the pursing of his lips could have passed as a  _ _pout.__ For a moment his eyes caught Sam’s, dark blue meeting faded white - but then he looked away with a disgruntled huff of breath that sounded so damn  _human_ Sam felt tears spring to her eyes.

The scene before her was just so utterly ridiculous that she found laughter bubbling up inside her chest. She couldn’t stop it  the need overflowed until she was doubled over, tears dripping down her cheeks until she laughed so much it  _ _hurt.__ Her mind was a buzz of questions and thoughts that barely made any sense, but in that moment none of them were important.

The laughter slowed, diminishing until Sam put a hand over her mouth and stifled it to quiet giggling. “Oh Josh, always so clumsy.” Her voice was soft and slow, though whether that helped him understand she had no idea. Did it matter? After all he was  _ _here,__ and that was what she cared about.

He sat there, staring up at her with wide, fawn like eyes. Josh ha always been an attractive guy; pretty much everyone in their group had crushed on him at some point. Even Matt, who had never crushed on a guy again. It was his eyes that got people - so dark, with sparkling mischief held just below the surface. All of that mischief was gone now though, replaced with all the wide-eyed wonder of a confused animal.

Something else was there too, glinting just beneath the surface. The same  _something_  that was clear in his sinewy muscle, poised as if ready to attack even when he sat in a useless heap on the floor.

Sam shuddered, eyes shifting away from Josh. The relief she felt just moments before slowly slipped away. She felt cold.

There was the sound of shuffling, cloth brushing against splintered wood that clattered to the floor. Sam’s eyes flicked back over to see Josh haul himself to his feet. His movements were quick but awkward, spindly legs bowed at the knees. For a split second he looked like a little kid just learning to walk. The illusion quickly peeled away when he turned those milky eyes to her, lips spreading back into that awful horror show smile.

Sam kept her focus above his head, eyes locked onto the greasy strands of hair sticking up at every angle imaginable. She could still see the flash of pointed teeth and strings of exposed flesh, but she could pretend it was just a mask, right? Like that stupid psycho mask he wore…

Shivering, Sam looked away. “Dammit Josh, even when I want to be angry with you I can’t.” It wasn’t his fault - not all of it, not really. None of them had seen the signs, tried to help. She was to blame for what happened as much as Josh was. “Forget it, you’re here and that’s what matters. Even if I feel like I’m talking to myself more than you.”

Josh let out a low, pained whine deep in his throat. Then he was moving toward Sam, lanky arms outstretched as if he was reaching out to her - before Sam had the chance to react, those same limbs wrapped around her much smaller frame, pulling her close to his chest.

A ragged gasp escaped her lips as her hands immediately sprang back to push him away. His face nuzzled close, buried in the crook of her shoulder and she squirmed under his grip.  _ _Fuck,__ what was he doing? She needed to get away from him before he tore through her jugular or bit through her arm. Heart pounding in her chest, Sam pushed futilely against his torso, trying to ignore how she could  _ _feel__ his ribs beneath the torn up overalls.

Only to stop dead as a low trill reached her ears. Was he  _humming?_ Oh. The realisation hit her like a physical force, enough to make her legs go weak.

Bony limbs wrapped around her shoulders, too spindly to get a proper grip - it was awkward and weird, as if he’d never hugged someone in his life, but it was definitely a  _ _hug.__

Slowly, arms shaking, Sam pulled him closer and rested her head against his chest. She had never been tall - a hundred sixty at most - but Josh had been minimally taller. Now it seemed like he  _ _towered__ over her; his back hunched awkwardly as he held her, and even then he felt like a giant.

So what, though? He looked like a monster, something that lurked at the bottom of your bed at night - but this was so painfully  _ _human,__ so  _ _Josh__ that it made her chest ache. Sam’s eyes slipped closed as she sighed, a small smile flicking across her face.

This was the most content she had felt in  _ _months.__ Longer, even.

Sam could have stood there forever, arms wrapped around Josh’s too-thin frame, slender body pressed against his. With a sigh she tucked her face against the crook of his neck, ignoring how she felt his collar bone dig into her-

Suddenly she was shoved backwards by clawed hands. All she saw was her own hair flying into her eyes as she stumbled back, Josh momentarily disappearing as her vision was obscured by blonde. One arm shot out to grab for the sofa, hand finding only air.

Then she was on the floor. She let out a shaky breath as she flipped hair out of her eyes and pulled herself up. Ouch. Her hip ached dully as she pushed up with her hands, slowly turning to sit cross legged on the wooden floor. What just happened?

Blue eyes flickered up to meet pale white ones - all the way at the opposite end of the room. Christ, how had he moved so fast? He sat huddled in the corner of the room, skinny arms wrapped around his knees, staring at Sam with wide, owl-like eyes that glinted faintly in the sun.

Wait, sun? It had been dark a second ago.

“Josh?” Sam questioned. With a huff of effort she slipped into a crouch and inched toward him. “Are you okay - what happened?”

She received only a muffled grunt as he buried his head in his hands. He didn’t seem to care much about the clawed fingers that tugged at the open side of his jaw, but it made Sam flinch.

“Josh?” she repeated. She had used his name more the past two days than she had since her last trip to Blackwood Mountain - and she still didn’t know if he even understood her. “Look, whatever I did I’m sorry. Don’t be mad, okay?”

Josh just curled further in on himself, long limbs almost bending inward as if that made him appear smaller. He let out a small shriek that could have been words but… well, it was impossible to tell.

Sam inched forward again, one slow step at a time. Any other time she would have felt stupid, half-crawling along the floor like a toddler just learning to walk - but something told her that fast movements were a terrible idea. She didn’t elect any movement from Josh, though, until she was barely a foot away.

He raised his head slowly, pressing his back so tightly against the wall it was like he was trying to disappear into it. When he opened his torn up mouth he let out a deep, raspy whine so completely like any animal Sam had ever heard before.

For a moment Sam froze, hands planted firmly against the floor. She let in a ragged breath - but didn’t let it go. The last time Sam had heard that noise she had felt Hannah’s breath against her throat, eyes boring into white, unseeing ones.

It was still a possibility that she might.

Sam’s vision began to blur, lungs burning - and she let out her breath in one long, gasping cough that shook her entire body. When she looked up, Hannah was gone - but Josh was still there, staring with unblinking eyes.

“Looks like we’re both pretty messed up, huh Josh?” She let out a humourless laugh, barely a weak chuckle. “Come on, don’t stare at me like that. Please? I’m the one who should be afraid of you.”

Unless he wasn’t afraid of her, but afraid of what he might do to her. Which was rich, considering he hadn’t very well thought of her when he terrified her half to death as the psycho, recording her, then knocking her out and tying her up.

With a sigh Sam sat back, head dipping low. Yeah, she was going down  _that_ rabbit hole again.

“Shit, Josh, what are we going to do? I can’t take you home like this, but I can’t stay here forever either. If I thought you were up to it, I’d ask you for one of your famous, genius plans.”

Sam didn’t get an answer; just another low, wary whine.

“Yeah, thought you’d say something like that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A while ago I made a little breakdown of Wendigo!Josh in anticipation for this fic. Check it out here; notaliteraltoad.tumblr.com/tagged/headcanons (since I can't put links in notes!)


	6. Aid

_**Playlist** _

_Wonders by Sound of Arrows_

_Melancholy Hill by Gorillaz_

_You Always Hurt the One You Love by The Ink Spots_

[[link](https://www.deezer.com/en/playlist/4379074222)]

* * *

 

The sun slowly made its way over the horizon, rising into the sky so slowly Sam barely noticed.

She sat crouched on the floor across from Josh, watching as the light began to dance across his features. He looked even worse in the dim light - the gash sliced across his faced looked more bloody, bits of raw flesh stretched across teeth too big for his mouth. His right eye, the one that looked a little more human, was bruised. Somehow the lid seemed to be peeling back from his eye. When he blinked those massive eyes at her, only one lid closed all the way.

She suppressed a shudder. There probably wasn’t enough Josh left for him to feel self conscious - he certainly didn’t seem to mind her staring - but she knew the old Josh - the real Josh - would have been horrified. Forget cannibalistic tendencies and slowly turning into a monster; Josh would have hated to know he looked like something from a B-listed horror movie.

He still hadn’t moved an inch. He had relaxed at least, uncurling himself from that uncomfortable hunch to a - albeit still weird - crouch so he could watch her more efficiently. Enormous white eyes stared at her, but he had stopped flinching every time she looked at him. Clearly, he was still getting used to the concept of human contact again. At least he hadn’t tried to eat her.

Sam’s leg was beginning to ache, the weight of her body sending pins and needles up her calf from the way she sat perched on top of it. She stretched out, legs straight and arms reaching for the ceiling. She would have killed for her usual morning run - or a swim in the local pool - but if she left, Josh might book it out of there while she was gone.

So, breakfast first. She could figure the rest out later. She clambered to her feet, automatically offering a hand to Josh. He simply stared at it blankly, a small huff leaving him. “Right,” Sam replied, “I probably don’t want those monster claws near my hands anyway.” With a weak smile she tucked her hand away. Then, keeping her eyes on Josh she made her way to the kitchen.

The kitchen was mostly windows - it was more like a sun room than a kitchen - and sunlight flooded through into the living room as she opened the door. The warm beams settled across her face, and for a moment a sense of calmness settled over her.

Until Josh let out a glass shattering screech that bounced off the walls. There was a flash of movement as Josh launched himself over the sofa, careening off the side and landing in a heap between sofa and coffee table.

Sam whirled around, heart in her throat, ready to sprint for the safety of the bedroom - only to see Josh’s head nervously poke over the top of the sofa. She let out a snorting laugh that caught in her throat and her face broke into a grin. “Sorry Josh! I didn’t realise it was going to be so bright.” After all, the sunlight peeking through the broken, curtain free window was pathetic at best. How was she supposed to know the kitchen was East facing?

He let out a childlike whine that _somehow_ managed to sound indignant. His torn up mouth was a horrific mess; but the way his lower lip curled it looked like he was trying to pout. For a brief second, he was almost Josh again.

Sam felt tears prick the corner of her eyes, warm liquid blurring her vision. With a frown she scrubbed them away before they could fall. “Stay here while I get food, okay?”

As she backed into the kitchen, eyes still trained on Josh, a single question popped into her mind. What does Josh eat? She couldn’t imagine him chowing down on cereal or a spicy vegetable curry. Maybe an extra rare steak. Raw meat, though - even worse, _human_ meat… The thought of her best friend tearing into a chunk of human thigh made her stomach turn.

She closed the kitchen door with a groan, the bitterness of bile filling her mouth. Rushing to the kitchen counter she threw her head forward - just in time to empty the entire content of her stomach into the dust coated sink. The smell of fresh sick hit her and she gagged again, but there was nothing left for her to throw up. Closing her eyes she searched blindly for paper towels, wiped her mouth clean, and grabbed for the tap.

Now she really didn’t want to eat. Her stomach growled, though, not caring about Sam’s preferences. Maybe just cereal, then. Surely there was an unopened bag, old stock from their last failed get together.

Sure enough there was an unopened Captain Crunch above the sink. It was going to taste awful dry - but she doubted there was any almond milk here. Anyway, it would have been long out of date. She poured herself a measly half-bowl and poured herself a glass of water. There was still sick at the bottom of the sink, but that was a problem for later.

When she cracked open the door and peered into the living room, Josh had taken up his familiar corner crouch, head in his hands. His head snapped up as Sam slipped through, wincing at the small sliver of light.

Sam smiled despite the lingering taste of sick and the uneasy feeling in her stomach. “Hey Josh. Sorry about that. I’m fine, promise.”

“Promise,” her own voice echoed back at her. A perfect imitation. Yeah, that was never going to get less creepy.

“Exactly,” she replied, settling down onto the sofa. Although the back was to his corner, she tilted her body so she could watch him as she ate. “So, here’s my immediate plan of action; we clean you up. I want a good look at that mouth, and I want to know if I can get rid of some of that blood.” Did Wendigos get infections? It was bloody and red raw, but didn’t seem to cause him any pain. It didn’t look like it was swollen or weeping either - but what did she know about Wendigo injuries? “You need a bath or something too, but that’s something I’m not helping with.”

If you had asked Sam a few months ago, she wouldn’t have said seeing Josh naked was a wholly unpleasant idea. She had seen him shirtless enough times - trips to the beach, the gigantic hot tub at the Blackwood Mansion that was probably destroyed along with the rest of that building - and yeah, he was pretty lean. Not the broad shouldered, stocky muscle of Mike or the cute buff-but-chubby of Chris, but he worked out.

Looking at him now though, he was little more than skin and bone, ashy flesh stretched thin over sharp cheekbones and protruding collarbones. Not to mention the state he must have been in, alone up here for so long…

Sam’s stomach churned and she gently set aside the remains of her cereal. Please no more throwing up today. The salty-bitter taste still lingered on the tip of her tongue, a memory she would prefer not to relive.

Josh watched her, eyes unblinking, as she climbed off the sofa in search of a first aid kit. There were probably at least two in this cosy cabin; if anyone was obsessed with safety, it was Bob Washington. Sam had plenty of memories of Bob bandaging her up after falling from trees or scraping her knees falling off her bike. Even the tiniest paper cuts warranted a bandaid.

The most obvious place was the bathroom, so she cracked open the door and slipped inside - careful not to let too much light to filter through. If Josh freaked out again, he might end up hurting himself.

Maybe she should stick a blanket over the broken window in the living room too.

As expected, Sam uncovered a first aid kit beneath the bathroom sink. Although never used, it was coated in a thick layer of grey dust. Sam felt dirtier just by touching it.

Slipping back into the living room revealed Josh had moved, curled up by the fire with his head tucked between his arms. The fireplace, of course, was unlit.

“I hate to say it, but I’ve never lit a proper wood burning fire in my life. I’d give it a go if I wasn’t afraid of burning down another house.” Despite the morbidity of her own joke, Sam cracked a smile - even if the queasiness settled back in her stomach for just a moment. “Anyway, I found a first aid kit - so let’s get a look at those chompers.”

Ideally, that mouth would have been kept far away from her - but this was Josh, and he hadn’t attacked her yet. So she was safe. Probably. Hopefully?

She settled down beside him, legs crossed comfortably, and set the kit in front of her. Inside were all the basics - bandaids, gauze, painkillers, and even a mini case for a needle and stitching thread. Sam hoped she was never in a situation to need to stitch herself up.

When she beckoned Josh closer, he slowly uncurled himself into a crouch, perched on the balls of his feet. One clawed hand reached out to nudge the first aid kit curiously - then he let out a quiet whimper as he stared at Sam in that weird, unblinking way.

Sam’s expression softened into a gentle smile. A tanned hand reached out to pat his arm above the elbow affectionately - though she kept her eyes on those thick black talons. “You’ll be fine. I’m only going to wash it, maybe stick some butterfly stitches on there.”

He stared at her blankly. Apparently human speech was still beyond him.

Sam picked up a strip of gauze, dousing it in alcohol. Her thumb stung as the liquid hit a paper cut - but when she looked up at Josh she was reminded that this could very well end up worse than a little scratch.

The yellowed fangs gleamed at her through the crusted blood. Thin strips of bare flesh clung to the teeth, receding gums turning black.

Okay Sam, no turning back now. Just get this over with.

He didn’t move as she scooted forward, gauze in hand. It wasn’t until she reached her free hand up to gently cup his face that his gaze shifted, nose crinkling. He didn’t pull away though, which she took as a good sign.

“This is going to sting, sorry.” At this point, was she still even talking to him - or did it just feel better to fill the silence?

When she looked into those milky eyes there was some kind of recognition, a spark of understanding - but it was gone so quickly she could have imagined it.

Just because he wasn’t all Wendigo didn’t mean he was Josh, either.

Sam carefully dabbed at the corner of his mouth, where the split skin curved up past his jawline and tapered off to his cheekbone. Even the lightest dab left the gauze pad red-brown with blood.

She didn’t want to know if it was his, or his latest meal’s.

She pressed the gauze to his face again, a little more firmly, and swiped away a chunk of dried blood hugging a small tear reaching for his chin.

Josh flinched - and let out a surprised shriek right in Sam’s ear. He reeled back and a hand scraped against the bare skin of Sam’s forearm.

Instantly hot pain ran along her arm; followed quickly by the drip drip of liquid hitting the wooden floor. Letting out a quiet hiss, Sam grabbed for her arm - only to pull away with a yelp. Instead of touching smooth flesh she felt the sticky warmth of blood. Looking down, she was met with red.

“Shit.” She stared dumbly at it for a moment, watching as droplets fell to the floor. Well, that didn’t go as planned, did it? At least there was a first aid kit right in front of her.

Bypassing the needle - her injury wasn’t that extreme - Sam grabbed a gauze pad to wipe away the blood. It didn’t look too bad really, except for the fresh blood starting to bloom almost immediately. With a subtle groan Sam plastered gauze to her arm - then secured it with a strip of bandage.

If there was one good thing about knowing the Washingtons half her life, it was Bob’s ability to pass on medical knowledge through some kind of inhuman osmosis.

When she glanced back up, Josh had skittered back to his corner. He hadn’t made a sound as he moved, or even moved the air around him. How come he could be so clumsy one moment, yet so eerily ghostlike the next?

“I’m all patched up. Your dad’s health and safety obsession has done me good. Let’s finish fixing you up.”

She held out a hand for him, but he didn’t budge. Instead he just whined low in his throat. For once he wasn’t staring at her - in fact, his gaze was purposefully turned away.

Sam felt a pang of sympathy for him, shoulders relaxing as she dropped her hand. “Come on Josh. I know you didn’t mean it - accidents happen.”

He curled in on himself - as if trying to make himself as tiny as possible. It didn’t work with the overstretched limbs and too-big hands - but he seemed intent on becoming one with the wall itself.

There was a pang in Sam’s chest as she watched him, as if her entire body was crying out to help him - to do _something_ to make him feel better, ease his suffering. But how could she do that, when she barely had the most basic grasp on what was going on in the first place?

Huffing out a sigh, Sam picked up the first aid kit and slowly pulled herself to her feet. All of a sudden the energy drained from her, leaving her with heavy eyelids and a deep, empty feeling deep in her stomach.

One step forward, a hundred steps back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly, Melancholy Hill is one of the Gorillaz more abstract songs with meaning kind of specific to the band - but it's one of my all time favourites so I'll make it fit, dammit!


	7. Healing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like this fic is going slow - maybe boringly so? Both in terms of upload times and story itself. Regardless expect some action next chapter!

__**Playlist  
**_Carry You by Ruelle_  
_For Everything a Reason by Carina Round_  
_Game of Survival by Ruelle_  
[[Link](https://www.deezer.com/en/playlist/4423219262)]

* * *

From her position perched on the sofa, legs tucked neatly behind her, Sam cast another glance over at Josh. It was becoming a habit now, considering she glanced up every few minutes only to find him in the exact same position as before.

Apparently Josh had made that corner his home and never planned to leave it. Ten hours. Ten hours of Josh sitting in that _stupid corner_  and ignoring her entire existence. Only once in those ten hours had he acknowledged her - only to let out a soft whine and promptly bury his head in his arms again.

Blue eyes drifted back down to her book, but the words were just background noise. She should have been thinking up a plan to get Josh home - and a believable, non-Wendigo related reason for him being like this. There was just… nothing. She couldn’t even think of a bad reason for him looking like one of Bob’s monster movie extras, never mind something anyone would actually take seriously. She could always just tell the truth - Chris would back her up, maybe Ashley at a push. If Ashley actually allowed Josh anywhere near her.

Yeah, who would actually believe that Josh had turned into a cannibalistic monster? Not the authorities, or doctors - and certainly not the Washingtons themselves. So her brain had come to a screeching halt.

This was getting her nowhere! How was she supposed to help Josh when she was so damn useless? She snapped her book closed with a sharp inhalation of breath, a frustrated groan escaping pursed lips.

Across the room, Josh didn’t budge.

“This is doing nothing. I need to go for a walk or something.” In the two days she had been stuck on this godforsaken mountain, she hadn’t exercised at all past the initial climb to the cabin. She was used to jogging every day, swimming every other, and rock climbing on weekends for good measure. She probably couldn’t actually run in this snow, but she needed out of this cabin. Now.

A quick glance at her watch confirmed it was half past seven. She had maybe an hour of sunlight left before she had to worry about anything going bump in the night. As long as she didn’t stray far, she would be fine.

Even so, the image of white eyes and rotting teeth filled her vision. Those fangs closed in on her, ever closer, until all she saw was one huge, gaping maw.

Letting out a shaky breath, Sam sank back into the sofa.

As if he somehow sensed her distress, Josh popped his head up and let out a low, gentle whine.

Sam’s eyes flickered over to him just as he began untangling those skinny limbs of his. The relief she felt was instant - that deep, knotted feeling in her stomach uncoiled, leaving behind a lightness she hadn’t felt since he curled up there. “I’m all right,” she insisted, a small smile tugging at her lips, “I promise. I’m glad you’ve finally left that dumb corner though.”

Josh dipped his head with downcast eyes - almost as if he was embarrassed. With his torn up side turned away, he looked like himself again; his strong cheekbones a little more prominent sure, but with the weak light filtering from the window behind him he looked healthier, like there was a glow shimmering across his skin. He looked as handsome as he had always been.

Wait, where had _that_ thought come from?

Josh must have caught her staring because he tilted his head to the side and let out a quiet chirp. It was becoming a little easier to understand what his weird Wendigo noises meant - at least she could differentiate between the sharp whines of discomfort and the curious chitters. Most of the time.

Sam felt heat rise to her face, eyes widening. She slid further into the sofa until her head rested against the arm, messy hair falling into her face. “Don’t give me that look!”

“Don’t give _me_ that look.”

…What? He had mimicked her in that creepy way of his, voice a perfect imitation of her own - almost. There was a tiny, almost inaudible inflection there that hadn’t been in her own demand. Something so minuscule Sam easily could have missed it. But she hadn’t.

“Did you just do that, or am I going crazy? Say something else. Something I haven’t said.”

Josh just let out a long, slow whine and plopped down at her feet.

Well, she couldn’t be faulted for trying.

Sam’s entire body deflated, shoulders slumping. She leaned down - noticeably less so than she would have before; it seemed Josh’s torso was longer now too - and ruffled his hair. It was tangled and greasy, once again reminding her he probably hadn’t washed in three months.

The thick smell of blood and sweat clung to him, enveloping him - and probably Sam, too - in a mix of sickly sweet and dull, old copper. Gross.

“All right mister; I promised you a bath, so a bath you’re going to get. Stay here while I fill the tub.”

Josh watched her as she backed up into the bathroom. Yes, _backed up_ \- because she wasn’t letting him out of her sight. It hadn’t gone so well last time and Sam wasn’t one to repeat past mistakes. So she edged backwards until her back hit the door, eyes trained on Josh the entire time. Once inside she left the door wide open where it rocked gently in the draft from the broken window.

This was fine - she could do this. It was just a bath; the same bath she had passed every time she entered the bathroom. She reached the tub, slim hands turning the tap, and hot water flooded into the enormous white bath. Easy. So what if her chest fluttered as she watched the rush of water, or the way the sounds of the water hitting the tub made her stomach twist?

There was a half empty bottle of lavender scented bubble bath tucked away in the corner ledge of the bath. Sam cast it a wary look, eyes dipping down to the quickly filling tub -  then cautiously reached across for it, fingertips grazing the bottle but not quite grasping it. With a huff of indignation she wiggled forward on her knees and once again reached out - only to knock the bottle into the water. It landed with a splash and disappeared under the steaming water.

One hand danced on the surface of the water, steam billowing around her wrist - but then her fingertips dipped below the surface and suddenly her chest felt tight, as if something was pressing down on her rib cage with every ounce of strength it had. Her breath escaped her in a short rasp as she shoved herself away from the tub with shaking hands - only to find herself at the other side of the room, eyes squeezed shut.

Her heart felt like it was racing a mile a minute, rushing in her ears like the rush of water filling up the tub. She took one long, steadying breath but it came out as more of a choked gasp. Warm liquid dripped down her cheek and landed on her collarbone.

“Sam?”

Her eyes flew open and she jerked back, heart skipping wildly in her chest for a whole new reason. The pounding in her ears was deafening - but when her eyes landed on Josh she knew she had heard him right.

He had said her name. Unprompted, and in his _own voice._

“J-Josh?” Her voice was little more than a squeak.

He stood in the doorway, long torso curved into a hunch so his head didn’t hit the frame. He tilted his head to the side, locks of overgrown hair falling in his pale eyes - which were fixed on the bath. Then, in a raspy, gritty parody of his normal voice he muttered, “sorry.”

She stood, back still firmly pressed against the wooden cabin wall, and stared. Her vision blurred but she didn’t bother to swipe the tears away, letting them drip down her cheeks as her heart swelled. Then she was sprinting forward with outstretched arms to pull him close, face buried in the bony crook of his neck.

“I knew you’d come back to me,” she whispered into his neck. When she sucked in a breath it came out as a strangled sob - and the tears continued to flow down her face. It was such a small thing; but he had spoken to her. Just one simple word that meant everything. Even in this fucked up state he somehow still felt the need to apologise.

And yes, they needed to talk about that - the bath, the psycho, the prank on Chris and Ash - but right now all she wanted was to hold him close, to cling to him so that they could never be separated.

Slowly thin arms wrapped around Sam’s waist, talon-like fingers carefully grazing her back, gentle as if she was made of tearable cloth. Josh let out a tiny whimper as he nuzzled against her hair, breath soft against her face. In that moment she didn’t even care that he smelled like sweat and rotting meat.

Then, so quietly Sam would have missed it if he hadn’t been pressed so tightly against her, Josh hummed a rough, “missed you.”

Fresh tears sprung to her eyes as Sam pulled him even tighter. Those simple words pulled at her so strongly she didn’t think she could take much more. God dammit, she loved this man. Fucked up as he was, and not just because of the Wendigo, he was the best thing she ever had.

“I missed you too. So much. We _never_ should have left this fucking place without you.” Sam lifted her head, taking his chin carefully in her hands so he was looking directly at her. “I mean it. You fucked up Josh - but so did I. I still don’t know how much you understand, but I hope you get this - I’m going to do everything I can to make up for the past.”

It was impossible to bring Hannah and Beth back; to fix the fact she hadn’t known how badly he was suffering - but she could try harder to help now. She was going to do everything she could.

Starting with giving Josh a goddamn bath.

Wrenching herself away from Josh felt like breaking herself in two. Her arms suddenly felt hollow without him even though they had only embraced for a few precious moments. Moving to turn off the tap, Sam let her gaze wander back to him.

He didn’t look any less Wendigo - those huge teeth still poked out from the ruined gash in his cheek, his eyes were still milky white. somehow though he looked brighter - there was a recognition in his gaze that hadn’t been there before, and the way he looked at her, not quite meeting her gaze… was that guilt?

Shaking her head, Sam made her way back to him. Now wasn’t the time. “All right, let’s hope you know how to clean yourself because I do not want to sponge bath you. Not that I wouldn’t love the excuse to get handsy with you Washington, but you smell worse than a sewer. Not that I really know what that smells like.” Using her sleeve to wipe away the drying tears, Sam slid past him and into the living room. “Have fun. I’m leaving the door open in case you end up drowning yourself or something.”

He just stood there, gaze fixed on the tub like it was some alien artifact. At first Sam thought he was busy reminiscing on the past - remembering his last encounter with a very similar tub at the lodge. She was immediately proven wrong, however, when he stepped into the bath - and then dropped, fully clothed, into the water.

Sam blinked, staring - and then a burst of laughter escaped her lips and she doubled over, the laughter continuing to flow from her until her face began to ache.

Josh at least had the self awareness to let out a whine and send her a half-hearted glare.

“a two in one combo,” Sam managed to stutter out between laughs, “wash your clothes and yourself all at once.”

Josh just huffed and sank lower into the tub, water soaking into his ruined, bloody overalls. Already the water was turning a dark shade of red-brown from the grime covering him head to toe. Gross. Thinking about it, Sam probably needed a wash herself after that hug.

Curiously Josh plucked a bath sponge from a little shelf above the bath. His nails stabbed through the soft material but he either didn’t notice or care. Then, with stiff, awkward movements he began scrubbing at his arm.

A small, fond smile spread across Sam’s face. This was a kind of clueless innocence she had never seen in him before - Wendigo or human. It was cute. Scratch that, Josh was cute; even like this. “You’ll get the hang of it. Keep doing what you’re doing I guess.”

Nestling herself back into the familiar curled up position on the sofa, Sam plucked up her book and began to read. Really, it was difficult to concentrate while keeping an eye on Josh, but he seemed to be doing just fine.

The sun was beginning to dim now, casting a glow against the wall that dipped lower by the minute. Usually sunsets were beautiful to watch - but with sunsets came darkness. With darkness came danger. As night slowly enveloped her, Sam found her mind wandering to the gun tucked away in the bedroom. Regular bullets did jack shit against Wendigos, but the need to have it close by kept itching away at her.

 _I’m fine,_ she told herself, nothing’s going to get me. _Josh dealt with that Wendigo the first night, and now you’re just being paranoid._

In the bathroom, Josh let out a frustrated shriek, followed by the sound of water sloshing over the side of the bath.

smiling to herself, Sam let her gaze drop back down to the book resting on her knees. See, everything was fine. There was nothing to worry about tonight.

Except for an odd, quiet scratching sound coming from the shattered window. Sam still hadn’t bothered to cove it with a blanket, meaning the sound reached her ears unmuffled.

Sam’s blood went cold, entire body freezing up as if she had turned to ice herself. Her spine tingled, body urging her to run for her room - to slam the door and grab her gun - but instead she sat, still as a statue, watching as a dark, elongated shadow stretched its way across the wall.

Something was climbing into the cabin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know that vine where the drunk woman keeps saying "I'm washing me and my clothes"? That's all I could think of while I wrote this.


	8. Invasion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy cow updates are slow, sorry folks! If there's one thing I'm terrible at it's reasonable update times.
> 
> I'm also starting to run out of songs that fit so I'm throwing in more metal/etc than indie/pop like previous songs.
> 
> As always, reviews aren't mandatory - but I sure do appreciate them!

**Playlist**   
_If You Have Ghosts by Ghost BC_  
_Coming Undone by KoЯn_  
_Flowers and Blood by Mariee Sioux_  
[[Link](https://www.deezer.com/en/playlist/4486061464)]

* * *

 

Two glowing spheres stared at her from the depths of a withered grey face, unblinking. They bored into Sam’s soul - freezing her in her seat. It pulled itself through the window with slow, steady movements; first  malnourished arm gripped the windowsill, then one boney leg skittered into view - before long the entire window was filled with the Wendigo’s too-thin body.

Sam’s chest beat wildly in her chest, blood thundering in her ears despite the cold chill that shot through her as she locked eyes with the Wendigo. She froze, her body knowing what to do even though it went against everything her brain was screaming at her.

It was frightening just how easy it was becoming to ignore her own fear.

Blue eyes stayed trained on the Wendigo as it hugged the wall. A low shriek emanated from deep in its chest - a sound that coursed right through Sam, wrapping around and tugging her heart into her throat. She let out a strangled gasp, struggling to choke it back.

The Wendigo’s head snapped around, unseeing eyes drifting past Sam. Even though it didn’t look at her, it gave Sam the eerie feeling it knew where she was. Was it toying with her?

If only it was possible to sneak into the bedroom and snatch up her gun… bullets didn’t do much but it was better than just _standing_ and waiting for it to find her. She had faced these monsters before, she knew how they worked - yet she was still _fucking useless!_ Just looking at it made her stomach churn.

The hot bubble of anger rose up inside her for the briefest second - but when her eyes flickered to the Wendigo’s gaunt, torn up face those familiar chills ran up her spine and extinguished every flicker of heat within her.

Across the room, through the half-open bathroom door something tumbled to the floor. The sound of shattering glass rang out across the cabin; followed closely by a garbled shriek half way between human and animal.

The Wendigo’s own shriek mimicked it perfectly as it swivelled on clawed feet. In two long leaps it bounded across the tiny living room, claws skittering against the wooden floor.

Sam gasped and leapt back, flinging out an arm even though it wasn’t nearly close enough to touch her. Her heart skipped, vision blurring as tears threatened to spill over-

Then the Wendigo burst through the bathroom door with a glass-shattering howl, feet skidding along the tiles - and rammed right into Josh.

Sam broke through the haze of fear, that icy cold feeling melting away into white hot panic. It felt as if her heart was trying to break free of her ribs, entire body on fire as she launched forward without time to think.

The bathroom door was blown open, left to swing loosely on it’s remaining hinges. As it swung wide and crashed against the wall, Sam had a clear view of the Wendigo perched atop a soaking wet Josh, claws digging deep into his shoulder.

She had to do something; __what__  though? She was fragile and useless - that damn thing could tear her apart in a second. But looking at Josh, wet hair falling into eyes that looked far too big for that gaunt face, Sam found a deep, hot fire beginning to ignite inside her. How dare it hurt her Josh!

There was a poker sitting neatly by the dusty fireplace, unused for months or even years; Sam snatched it up with shaking hands, brandishing it at the Wendigo. “Hey asshole!” Her voice was shaky, barely even words at all - but it was enough.

Its head spun with frightening speed while its body didn’t move at all - dimly it reminded Sam of a horror story she once read, late at night by the light of her phone.

She took a step back, looking past it to see Josh curled up on the floor, a puddle of soapy bathwater and blood slowly spreading across the cream tiles. __Oh fuck.__

When she looked back to the Wendigo with wide blue eyes, she saw everything in slow motion. It whirled around, claws scraping deep grooves into the floor - and then it launched itself back toward her, pushing itself forward without an ounce of effort.

Sam hit the floor. Pain bloomed in the back of her skull and for a moment everything blurred around her. Trying to lift an arm she was met with a heavy weight, like something pressing down on her - warmth crept up her arm too, damp and suffocatingly uncomfortable.

When she looked over, all she saw was red; it seeped through the fabric of her jumper, collecting in the grooves of the wooden floor. That was right. Josh had cut her earlier; an accident of course…

Fresh pain embedded itself in her leg as a skinny arm flashed across her still-fuzzy vision. Thick claws as long as her fingers dug into the toned flesh of her thigh. They tore through her jeans as if made of nothing, leaving behind a trail of blood and torn up skin.

A cry burst from her lips as she thrashed desperately in its grasp. Tears spilled from her cheeks as she fought to get away, pushing with every ounce of strength to break free from the Wendigo’s grasp - but it held her in place as if she weighed no more than a doll.

Those claws dug deeper, piercing deep holes in Sam’s flesh - and there wasn’t a thing she could do about it. “Get off me!” The panic swelled higher, but the adrenaline thundering through her veins did nothing. It just build up until Sam felt as if she might pass out.

It leaned forward, smelling of warm, rotting meat. Raspy breath tickled her jaw as it leaned ever closer, those sharp teeth just centimetres away.

This was it. She was going to die - alone, in an abandoned cabin with a Wendigo and her half-Wendigo best friend who she hadn’t even helped, hadn’t done a damn thing to save.

At least Wendigos had the decency to kill their prey quickly.

Sam sucked in a shaky breath and squeezed her eyes shut, waiting for sharp pointed teeth to bite down, to rip a chunk from her neck and leave her to bleed out-

Suddenly there was a shriek to her left, so loud and sharp and unlike anything she had heard before. Something thin and sickly streaked into view, long arms knocking the Wendigo away.

Sam heard her jeans rip as the claws tore across her - then pain shot through her leg, spreading across the length of her thigh as they snagged on her skin, sinking into soft, pliable flesh before tearing away from her all together.

A scream ripped from her throat, fresh tears bursting from her eyes and reducing her vision to a blurry nothingness. The pain just spread and spread until nothing else was left, just white hot heat taking over.

Somewhere close by the Wendigo let out an enraged howl, far more twisted than any animal. It flashed in the corner of her eyes, all sharp teeth and grey skin. It lashed out at Josh with one enormous hand, talons catching on the strap of his tattered overalls.

It hurt to move, but Sam managed to heave herself into an upright position. The sofa was hardly a decent backrest but it was the only thing keeping her from falling back into a heap on the floor. Dazedly she noticed the sea of red around her - but that couldn’t be all hers, could it? There was far too much for just one cut.

Behind her the Wendigo screeched, knocking against the sofa with enough force to send it shooting forward - Sam scrambled away with a pained whimper, catching a glimpse of it as it righted itself. Long limbs moved with unnatural precision as it slinked onto all fours - then with a sudden lurch it ran for Josh.

It seemed impossible, but _somehow_ he managed to dodge. In one move he ducked to the side, crouching on all fours in a way that looked so inhuman for a moment he didn’t look like Josh at all. When he finally stood up Sam heard his back pop back into place, saw his spine ease back into the proper position - then his claws flashed in the light from the miniature chandelier overhead, catching the Wendigo by its elbow.

Crashing against the floor the Wendigo howled, jaw opening so wide it might have tried to unhinge - but the blow barely made it flinch. With barely a pause it pushed away from the wall - leaving behind only a smear of blood and a crack crawling up to meet the ceiling.

Everything happened frighteningly fast, the Wendigo’s moves so sudden it left Sam reeling. In one move it was on top of Josh once more, claws hovering dangerously above him.

 _ _Blood.__  It was all Sam saw as the Wendigo’s teeth tore into Josh’s arm. The shrieking howl seemed to echo off the walls as he writhed in its grasp but it held firm, teeth sinking further into Josh’s shoulder.

Josh was being mauled right in front of her and what could she do?

The gun. Sam needed that _fucking gun_ if they stood any chance of fighting back. The messy fuzz of her brain made her hands shake as she gripped the arm of the sofa, willing herself to stand up. Silently thanking her rock climbing class for producing biceps of steel, she managed to pull herself onto the sofa. The ground swam and the sofa seemed one second away from slipping from her grasp but she managed - finally! - to lift herself off of the ground.

Now to stand up. Dimly aware of the red, oozing hole in her leg, Sam counted. _One, two, three_ \- and with a barely concealed cry she was on her feet. The tears continued to fall and the pain was worse than ever, now consuming what must have been her entire left side. Not to mention the gash on her shoulder must have re-opened, red blooming across her t-shirt.

None of that mattered. What mattered was getting that pistol and saving Josh’s ass.

Through the haze of pain and tears she somehow managed to stumble to the bedroom unnoticed. Her ears rang with the howls of Wendigos and claws scraping against hardwood flooring. Trembling hands found the bedside table and tore the drawer open. The contents flew across the floor, a lighter and phone charger skittering under the bed.

Her fingers brushed against the cool metal of the gun and for a brief moment her thudding heart slowed, a sigh of relief escaping her.

Something shattered behind her, the sharp sound of wood bursting apart making Sam jump. through the doorway she saw Josh, face turned toward her so his Wendigo side was hidden. He looked so perfectly human, standing between her and the Wendigo - a boy ready to defend his best friend even though he knew he couldn’t win. When he caught her eyes she swore he tried to smile, though the shakiness of her vision might have lied to her.

Either way, maybe there was more Josh in there than she thought.

Her leg was beginning to feel numb now, hot pain slowly dimming to nothing more than a dull ache. What did that mean? Nothing good. Ignoring the nagging part of her brain telling her something was wrong, Sam somehow stumbled back, good arm leaning against the wall for support. Her foot caught in the doorway and she lurched forward with a gasp, a jolt of lightning coursing through her thigh.

Then she aimed the gun square at the Wendigo. It stood, back hunched, leering at her with cold white eyes. One arm hung by its side, fingers twitching, blood dripping from its elbow.

A small spark of satisfaction ignited in her chest at the sight. Josh had managed at least one good hit, enough to tear the skin away - leaving just raw sinew behind.

Josh’s eyes widened at the sight of Sam aiming the gun. Did he know what it was, or was she just imagining things? He slinked behind her, a low whimper leaving his throat. He sounded very much like a wounded dog.

Eyes narrowing, Sam ignored the way she wobbled as she took a step. “All right you piece of crap,” Sam hissed through gritted teeth, “this is what you get for trying to kill us.” One trembling finger flicked off the safety, another pressing down on the trigger-

The resounding crack left her ears ringing as the recoil setting her injured arm on fire. She fired again; once, twice, three times, four - until it clicked empty.

When she finally dropped the gun and let it clatter to the floor, her legs gave out. The next moment she was on the floor, short nails digging fiercely into the skin of her palms.

When she looked up the Wendigo was gone - leaving behind one thick blood trail leading to the broken window. Outside, red stained the beautiful white snow.


	9. Recovering

**Playlist** __ ****  
_Odds Are by Barenaked Ladies_  
There is Still Hope by Sound of Arrows  
_You've Got the Love by Florence + the Machine_  
[[Link](https://www.deezer.com/en/playlist/4542265644)]

* * *

“You _what?”_

“Yes Chris, I may have been mauled by a Wendigo - but it isn’t as bad as it sounds, I promise! I mean, I won’t be running any marathons for a while but hey, you’re always saying I need to relax more, right?”

The phone signal was spotty at best, Chris’ voice crackling with every word; but there was no mistaking his tone of voice when he all but shrieked, “you could have died! You and Josh both. Don’t make out like it’s no big deal. What if Josh hadn’t been there to save your ass - or if he had decided to just join in on the Sam buffet?”

“Really, you’re being dramatic. I don’t-”

“Are you even _listening_ to me? To yourself? Fuck, Sam, you’re in over your head.” Despite the accusatory tone, Chris’ voice was thick and watery - as if he was trying not to cry. There was a pause and a sniffle before he continued, “I told you to stay safe! I should have known it wasn’t going to happen.”

There was a dull throb settling behind Sam’s temples, like something hammering away at her skull. It was a not so appreciated addition to everything else going on in her torn up body - except the Wendigo wasn’t responsible for this particular ache.

“Look,” Sam started, although it was becoming more difficult to keep her voice even, “I’m alive, and this is nothing that won’t heal. I’ll just have to think up an excuse to tell mom - I can’t exactly tell her I was almost eaten by a cannibalistic monster.” With a groan she sank further into the cushions of the sofa, hand across her eyes. This whole thing was one gigantic mess.

“Considering said cannibalistic monster is still out there, you should be more concerned about making sure you’re still alive to see your mom again,” Chris shot back. Although Sam couldn’t see him, the image of him thudding his head against the table rose in her mind.

“Hey, I promised you semi-regular updates, and this is it. Not my fault you’re a drama queen.”

Silence on Chris’ end, just the gentle whisper of a barely contained sigh.

Sam pursed her lips, brows creased in a deep frown. “Hey Chris, you still there?”

“Yeah. I just don’t know what else to say, Sammy. You always have been too damns stubborn; maybe even worse than Emily.”

As if. Even so, she should have been looking at this from his point of view too; which wasn’t exactly an appealing concept. At least here, she knew the stakes, could actually do something. Chris was stuck all the way in California just waiting for her to call and tell him the next wild twist in the tale. In a way he almost had it worse than her. Almost.

“Look, it’s crazy early and I know you have college tomorrow. Later, Cochise.”

Her use of Josh’s words only elicited a heavy groan. “Later Sammy. Tell Josh I say hi - and for fuck’s sake _stay safe._ ”

Tapping her screen to end the call, Sam then tossed her phone onto the blood stained coffee table.

Honestly, she should have cleaned that up. That and the blood stains across the hardwood floor… and God knew what kind of state the bathroom was in. Then again, with that thing still out there, more blood would probably replace it soon enough. It suddenly occurred to her just how pathetic a safe haven this cabin was. A broken window, flimsy wooden doors and no real weapon save the handgun with one magazine left. If it came back - and it knew where she was, so it certainly would - there was no way she could handle another fight like this. Nor Josh.

A chill ran down Sam’s spine, enough to make her shudder. Curling in on herself, Sam dropped her head so it rested on her knees. It was freezing cold despite the blankets piled around her - but it wasn’t just from the cold outside. Tears stung the edges of her vision, dripping onto her bloodied jeans.

A quiet whimper caught her ears - she flinched, head snapping up, eyes immediately scanning for a threat, heart in her throat. Was the Wendigo back already, eager to give her another go? Fuck, where was her gun? Where was _Josh?_ Shit, what if-

Oh. Her eyes landed on the very person she was looking for. Josh looked up at her with wide white eyes, sparse eyebrows knitted together in a worried frown. The low whimper left his tattered lips again - although it sounded almost like a hum.

“Hey Josh.” Sam’s voice wavered at the words, unsteady, unsure. “What a day, huh?” A humourless laugh burst from her lips like a strangled cry. It lasted for barely a moment, the quickest flash, before dissolving into a gasp as she struggled back tears. Sniffling, she wiped the back of a shaky hand across her face.

Josh seemed to sense something was wrong - or maybe Sam didn’t give him enough credit, because there was so obviously enough _Josh_ left that he understood what tears meant - because he let out a low whine and scrambled onto the sofa beside her. It seemed so long ago that he had refused to go near her, far back to a less complicated time where he was the only Wendigo she had to worry about.

Hands clenched into fists held stiffly in her lap. The first of fresh tears dripped onto her hands, warm against her freezing skin.

A pale, malnourished hand joined hers, claws so gentle as they hesitantly brushed against her skin. It encompassed her hand so easily, elongated fingers so stretched and _inhuman,_ but somehow it just felt _right._  Like that hand was made for hers.

Sam turned her hand palm up, gently wrapping her fingers around his. When she looked up, blinking back the wetness in her eyes, Sam managed an unsteady smile.

He smiled back, torn cheek stretching grotesquely across a mouth full of razor-like teeth - but the twisted damage to his face no longer brought a heavy feeling of dread. The pain, the fear, everything just disappeared as Sam gazed at him. As long as they were together, they’d make it out of this whole mess.

Josh’s torn lips moved, but whatever noise he made was completely lost to her. She squinted at him with narrowed blue eyes - but then her brain caught up with her and it clicked.

Clearly, with a voice roughed up and slurred - but very much __his own -__ Josh had looked her right in the eyes and said, _“you’re safe now.”_

Her eyes widened, mouth opening as she sucked in a breath. Her heart was hammering - but this time it wasn’t from the overwhelming sense of fear. He _spoke._ Haltingly, as if he wasn’t sure how to make his mouth work - but he spoke, using his own voice, and he actually, somehow, understood the words.

In that moment, nothing else mattered. Not the Wendigo lurking about outside, not the sharp pain in her thigh whenever she tried to move, not the isolation of the mountain creeping up on them. All that mattered was Josh.

“Fuck, I knew this Wendigo thing wasn’t permanent. You really are coming back to me, aren’t you?”

Josh just tilted his head, blinking owlishly. The smile was still there, softer now, but he didn’t make another attempt to speak. Instead he just huffed happily and nuzzled into her shoulder, almost crawling into her lap in an attempt to get closer. With her knees still curled up it didn’t work out - so he settled for snuggling into her side with his head rested perfectly in the crook of her neck.

Sam brushed dark hair from his eyes - and although it was pretty greasy and quite honestly _gross _-__ it didn’t really matter. Honestly, his appearance didn’t bother her any more. After seeing a real Wendigo up close, close enough to eat her, Josh’s own Wendigo traits seemed almost normal by comparison. Was she just desensitised?

No, that wasn’t it. Sam couldn’t put it into words, but there was a warmth in her chest when she looked at Josh - and not just from remembering who he used to be, before the twins and the prank and the Wendigos - but for Josh as he was right then, in that moment. Even half-monster, all messed up and barely able to communicate, he was still Josh. _Her_ Josh.

Smiling fondly, Sam pressed a kiss to his forehead. He shifted against her, head tilting up to lock his milky eyes on hers - and there was a look on his face, so soft as he smiled lopsidedly at her, that everything else seemed to melt away.

Yeah, there was absolutely no denying it now. She was in __way__ too deep.

“Man, I’ve missed having you around, you know that? Life sucked without you. Though don’t tell Chris that; he might be offended that he isn’t as good company as you.”

Josh let out a raspy laugh that sounded as if it _probably_ should have hurt - but that fanged grin was back in full force as he stared up at her.

“No really, I mean it. Chris will be heartbroken if you say anything.”

He just chuffed and nuzzled against her again, wrapping one long arm around her waist. A small yawn left him - so soft and quiet she almost missed it, but it was another of those tiny human actions that reminded her there was still hope.

“Me too. I’d go to bed, but it hurts to move and to be honest, I can’t be bothered. It’s been a _day._ ” As if to punctuate her point, Sam held back a yawn of her own, hiding it with the back of a hand.

Josh shifted - and then he was sliding off the sofa, the bones in his limbs cracking noisily as he scuttled off into the bedroom. He was gone for just long enough that Sam was beginning to wonder where he had gone - before he came lumbering back with the heavy winter duvet from the bed clenched in one hand. His arms were laden with fluffy white pillows - definitely more than she remembered being on the bed itself. Where had they come from?

“What are you doing?” Sam quirked a thin brow, turning to watch as he threw the first pillow onto the sofa. “Josh, seriously-” her voice was muffled as a pillow met her face before landing in her lap. “Hey!”

He ignored her, choosing to continue with the little pillow fort - sliding one gently underneath her injured leg. Maybe he thought the extra support was good for her? Then he added more, piling them around Sam and leaving a vaguely Josh-sized space by her side. Eventually there was more pillow than sofa - just a massive white cloud surrounding her.

He took a moment to survey his work, head tilted to the side as he hummed quietly. Then he scrambled back into his little space, curling an arm around Sam to pull her close. Cute.

“So I guess that means we sleep here tonight?” Hey, who was she to complain? Every damn sofa the Washingon’s owned was comfier than her bed at home, so it wasn’t exactly a problem. Besides, if it meant Josh was going to sleep pressed against her side all night, a reassuring presence, even better.

Josh chirped happily as he tugged the duvet over them both, almost burying himself in the thick fabric. Only his eyes were visible, glowing at her from the darkness of the covers.

Sam just laughed, pulling the duvet closer so she could snuggle down too.

She slept through the rest of the night, with Josh curled against her, and even the looming threat of the Wendigo didn’t stop her from the best rest she’d had since her last fateful visit to the Washington Mountain.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm annoyed with myself because I wrote this fantastic (albeit very self indulgent) fic over two years ago that was really emotional and angsty and I've never managed to get that kind of emotion down in writing since. Like, every time I try to write Sam getting all upset or frightened it sounds so bland so I don't know how I did it in that one fic so well??
> 
> I guess the moral of the story is practice makes perfect, but sometimes you write something truly awesome and none of your other work will ever compare.


	10. Comfort

**Playlist**  
_Sail by AWOLnation_  
_Hard Times by Paramore_  
_My Silver Lining by First Aid Kit_  
_[[link](https://www.deezer.com/en/playlist/4608932024)]_

* * *

The early hours of the morning didn’t bring a pack of starving Wendigo crawling through the window, or a snarling grimace breathing hot breath in Sam’s face.

It did, however, bring an empty spot once warmed by Josh’s body pressed against her own, and a soft keening from the trashed bathroom. The sound drifted through the door - which was opened almost a tiny crack, although Sam remembered it being firmly closed - and reached her ears so quietly it could have been mistaken for the remains of a half-forgotten dream.

Bleary eyes blinked open, squinting in the half-darkness of the early hours. Sam was bundled tightly in the thick, silky blanket that kept her cozy despite the draft from the broken window - and snow beyond. She could have easily gone back to sleep, chin tucked underneath the blanket - if not for that weird sound.

Straining her ears, Sam realised two things - one; it was as real as she was. Two; it echoed, bouncing off the wooden walls in a way no sound should. Something cold crawled along her spine, tiny needles prickling her skin. Suppressing a shiver and the urge to hide underneath the blanket, Sam sat up. “Josh?”

No response. No half formed words or her own voice echoed back. Not even a soft whine of acknowledgement.

“Josh?” she called, softer this time. Somehow raising her voice felt _wrong _,__ as if breaking the thick, almost-silence was taboo. Honestly, the silence __was__ kind of spooky - like a physical force that stopped her from speaking above a sharp whisper.

The keening continued, completely unaffected by Sam’s calling. If it _was_ Josh, he either couldn’t hear her or was pointedly ignoring her. She put her bets on the second option.

Still wearing her clothes from the day before, Sam tugged down the hem of her winter leggings as she dragged herself to her feet. Cold seeped through her socks as she padded across the room; although that was nothing compared to the dull, cold pain radiating through her thigh as she put weight on her leg. Sam bit back a hiss, lips curling. __Ugh.__ That was never not going to suck. With a tiny huff, Sam braced herself for the walk to the bathroom.

Honestly, the quiet keening was damn creepy. It was almost like small, hiccoughing human cries - but there was an undertone of something __not right__ about it. Something high pitched and strained that human vocal chords couldn’t achieve. Another reminder that Josh was something _other._

Peeking through the bathroom door didn’t do much except give her a glimpse of the bloody, watery mess of the floor. There was no sign of Josh - or anything else - through the tiny crack. “Hey, you in there? Is everything all right?”

The quiet sounds stopped with an intake of breath - as if Josh was trying not to be heard. Then came a stuttering, “f-fine,” from the depths of the bathroom.

“Can I come in?” Fidgeting on the spot, Sam tried to ignore how the pain settled in her thigh; a cold ache that just wouldn’t go away. The longer she tried to stand, the more the ache crept along; spindly legs crawling up her leg. Huffing out a sigh, Sam pressed a flat palm to the bathroom door. “Come on Josh, please?”

Movement. She only caught a flash of motion as Josh flickered past the door; a shock of curly black hair and dirty overalls. “Shut up! Stop __talking!__ ” He was hysteric, voice nearly a shriek. Never in all her years of knowing him had Sam heard anything like it - something so _desperate._

Sam’s heart skipped a beat as she jumped back from the door - only to wince at the strike of pain in her thigh. Something was wrong. __Really__ wrong. Josh didn’t yell at people - had never so much as raised his voice at her, or anyone, as long as she had known him. This wasn’t just weird Wendigo stuff either. A shaky hand grabbed for the cold metal door handle, pausing for just a moment. “All right, I’m coming in whether you like it or not.”

With a deep breath, Sam opened the door.

When she swung the door open and stepped inside, she was met with the sight of Josh curled in the corner, head in his hands, clawed fingers curled around fistfuls of black hair. He didn’t even look up as she crossed the threshold; just curled further in on himself, as if to try and disappear.

She had to go to him - to comfort him, let him know that __somehow__ everything was going to be okay. But how could she do that when she didn’t even know what was wrong?

“I said _shut up!”_

The outburst caused Sam to stumble back with a start - knocking her shoulder against the door frame. Throwing a hand out to steady herself, Sam fixed her eyes on Josh.

He hadn’t moved from his spot, but his milky white eyes were fixed on a spot just past Sam’s shoulder, through into the next room. Heart hammering in her ears, Sam slowly spun. What was she going to find?

Nothing. The living room was as empty as she had left it.

“Josh, no one’s there - and no one spoke. What’s going on?” Her chest was __thundering__ now, the anxiety rising and rising. When she focused back on Josh, her stomach churned and for a moment she thought she was going to be sick. Swallowing down the urge to vomit right there on the floor, Sam closed her eyes.

 _Deep breath for four seconds. Hold for seven. Exhale for eight._ Chris’ words rang in her ears, talking her through the process. __You__ _ _’re fine Sammy.__

When she opened her eyes, Josh’s gaze met hers.

Although her hands still shook as she wrapped the blanket closer around her shoulders, her chest was no longer doing somersaults. Letting out a shaky sigh, Sam stepped forward. “Talk to me Josh. What’s wrong?”

“Not _real._ ”

She had stretched out an arm to reach for him - but she paused mid way, brain taking a second to catch up. What? Of course she was real! She was right there, standing in the middle of the bathroom. “I’m pretty sure I’m real, dude. Look, I have real hands and everything.” Cautiously she reached out again, kneeling on the cold tile so she could brush a hand across his shoulder.

Josh recoiled, shoving Sam away with enough force to send her tumbling backward as she lost her balance. Sharp claws sliced her arm and sent droplets of blood springing across her skin. Next thing she knew she was staring up at the bathroom ceiling, back against the tile. Her arm protested as she pushed herself upright, the familiar ache settling into the scratches given earlier; and now she had a brand new one. Blood trickled gently down her arm, but it was barely more than a sting.

Having retreated back to the corner, Josh regarded her warily. When she sat up he flinched, curling even further in on himself - it was as if __he__ expected her to hurt __him.__

Maybe it was better to leave him alone, let him work through… whatever _this_ was by himself. God, what was she saying? She couldn’t just __abandon him,__ leave him alone when he was struggling. What was the point of even being on this stupid mountain at all if she couldn’t help? Frustration was beginning to bubble up inside her, slender hands balling into tight fists. Taking a breath, Sam willed herself to keep her cool.

Josh was still staring at her, completely unmoving save for the rapid rise and fall of his chest. His breath seemed to __rattle,__ echoing the new raspy tone of his voice. The Wendigo curse had made everything about him rougher, more dangerous - but he was more vulnerable too. Just looking at him curled up on the bathroom floor, white eyes wide, body stock still, made that pretty obvious.

Tears sprang to Sam’s eyes, blurring her vision. What was she supposed to __do?__

Scrubbing at her eyes, Sam turned her gaze to Josh. “I’ll stay right over here, okay? I won’t come any closer if you don’t want me to. But for the love of God _please say something!”_

 _Not real _.__ The words echoed in her ears, ringing in Josh’s voice.

Back in the mines, with Mike, this had happened too. Mike had told her everything after she had split, retold his journey through the mines with Josh in _painful_ detail. She tried to think, but the hammering of her chest was almost too much to let her think - her brain seemed heavy, foglike.

Oh. Beth and Hannah. Hallucinations. _Shit._

Sam carefully reached out a hand, not close enough to tough him, and let it hang there for a moment. “I promise I’m real, okay; one hundred percent here.”

He didn’t even register her words, vision fixed on a spot by the walk in shower. His lips curled back to reveal a mouthful of oversized fangs and for one heart stopping second Sam thought he was going to lash out. She envisioned him sprinting across the bathroom, throwing her aside to get to the non-existent target-

“Get _away from me!_ ” The words burst from his mouth in a rush, so much of a shriek they were barely words at all. In a flash he was on his feet and scuttling backwards, bare feet slipping on the bathroom tile.

Without a thought Sam launched to her feet too, blanket sliding to the floor in a heap. She ignored how her thigh and shoulder burned from the sudden movement. She swayed on her feet, but in barely a second she crossed the small space between them - only to stop a few feet away. Maybe getting so close was a bad idea…

“I don’t know what you’re seeing, but it’s not real. They can’t hurt you Josh, not any more. Whether it’s Hannah and Beth, or Wendigo, or _anything_ else, they can’t touch you.” Her eyes stung, a tear dripping down her cheek to splash against her t-shirt. “I’m here for you, you know that right? No matter what.”

Josh’s milky eyes slid over to her, though it was impossible to tell if he was really seeing her. Those eyes, once so dark and filled with emotion, gave nothing away now. Although he had always been good at hiding how he felt, hadn’t he? He had fooled her - and everyone else - for an entire _year_. Probably even longer.

Josh’s hand twitched, spindly fingers reaching for Sam; but he didn’t make a move toward her. “You’re real? Hannah told me…” He let out a low growl, lips curling back into a scowl. Then, “doesn’t matter.”

Tears threatened to blur her vision again but she blinked them away. He had gone through _so much _-__  and he had been alone for all of it. Not any more. “Hey.” Sam ignored how her voice broke. She had to be the strong one here, no matter how hard it was. “I promise - and I mean this - I’ll do whatever I can to help.”

When she reached out a hand, Josh took one tiny step forward. Their hands met, and Sam slowly curled her fingers around his. “Are they still here? Hannah and Beth I mean.”

Josh just nodded, eyes dipping to the ground.

Shivering she turned around, half expecting to see Beth’s torn up body looming behind her - or Hannah, all fangs and leathery grey skin. When her eyes reached over her shoulder, there was only blood-stained tile and an empty shower.

Still. Knowing Josh saw something she didn’t. Ugh.

“Well, I guess I’ll just have to stay here with you until they disappear. I don’t… I don’t know what else I can do, really. I’m kind of useless, huh?” Despite her words she smiled, free hand closing in on Josh to pull him close. She was careful; so careful she was barely touching him and it was _weird _,__ having to treat him so gently. Gone were the times where they used to rough house, throwing each other around for fun.

Her arms looped around his waist - and despite being so much taller he seemed smaller than ever - and pressed a gentle kiss to the side of his cheek. “We’ll get through this, okay? I don’t know how, but we will. I promise you.”

Josh tensed, and Sam thought he was going to pull away - but then he wrapped one gangly arm around her, pulling her ever closer. His head dropped onto her shoulder, black curls tickling her neck. When he let out a sigh it was thick and gravelly, but sounded a little more like the Josh she remembered.

“Thanks Sammy; you’re the best.”

It didn’t occur to her until much later, when Josh was fast asleep and she was curled up in bed, but that was the first full sentence he had managed since she had found him.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a disclaimer - I am in no way an expert on mental health. This is the first chapter that gets really into it, so if there's anything you guys think I should change, let me know!


	11. Nauseated

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm honestly not loving the pacing of this? I feel like it's way too slow and nothing really happens - but I did promise a slow burn so I guess it sort of fits? Let me know what you think!
> 
> As always, reviews are greatly appreciated and I try to reply to as many as I can~

_**Playlist**_  
_Twisted by Missio_  
_Sour Times by Portishead_  
_You've Got the Love by Florence + the Machine_  
[[link](https://www.deezer.com/en/playlist/4624629344)]

* * *

"I'm serious Chris, he's making real progress! He actually managed a full sentence this morning. Yeah, it took me a second to understand him, but that's not the point." Curled up on the sofa, buried under a mountain of blankets, Sam allowed herself a soft smile. Things were  _finally_ starting to look up. "I know it doesn't seem like a huge deal, but-"

"Are you kidding?" Through the choppy signal, Chris' voice was bubbly, barely contained. "This is awesome! Are you sure he's okay though, with the whole thing last night."

Right, of course. Why did Sam get the feeling she was going to regret telling Chris about that? "Neither of us are okay, not really; but we're trying to be. He's dealing with it, I think. I'm pretty sure he feels better now I know about it, anyway." Absently, her free hand worried a fray in the thick blanket. 

Josh  _was_ doing better, wasn't he? It wasn't just her projecting her hopes onto him? She had failed to notice his suffering the first time around, had thought he was perfectly fine when he was barely covering it up. It was possible it was the same all over again, and she was just in denial without even realising it...

"Hey, earth to Sammy! You still there?"

"Huh?" Chris' voice rang in her ears, but his words barely registered. Frowning slightly, Sam slid down further into the pile of blankets. "Sorry. I was... it's not important." 

Outside, snow continued to batter the little cabin. Through the window she saw only a haze of blinding white. It was even beginning to collect on the sill of the broken window, although the wind was hammering in the opposite direction. Shivering, she pulled the blanket closer.

On the other end of the line, Chris let out a huff. Sam pictured him rolling his eyes, hands on hips. "Something's on your mind, Sam. I can tell. Even a million miles apart, I can still read you like a book." 

It was true. Chris - and just about everyone else, really - always said she was too transparent. Lying had never been her strong suit. Until now, it had always been something she prided herself on. "Well," she began - but fell short, pursing her lips. Where to even begin? Did she even want to bring Chris into this? The answer was clear. "Really, it's nothing. I'll tell you some other time."

Chris' heavy disappointment seemed to radiate through the phone. "Sammy, you're avoiding! Fine, I won't force you. I have to go anyway - Ash is coming over, and we've even convinced Mike, Jess and Matt to come. Emily's still a work in progress, but we'll get there."

Sam smiled fondly, chest feeling a little lighter at the news. "Great! Let me know how it goes; and I'll keep you updated on Josh. Have fun!"

"I'll try, but Jess is still being awkward. Not that I blame her or anything, but you know how it is." Distantly, the high pitched ring of a bell echoed. "Oh, that'll be Ash. See you soon, Sam!"

"Bye Chris. Good luck."

The phone clicked off, leaving Sam sitting there in silence. It was just her and the white noise of snow falling against the cabin roof. Closing here eyes, Sam let out a breath. This was the first time she had relaxed in  _forever,_ since way before her return to Blackwood Mountain. It would be nice if it could last just a little longer.

Hold on. Silence meant she was the only one here;  _that_ meant no Josh. Eyes snapping open, Sam bolted upright as she whirled to face the bedroom door. She had left him there in the early hours of the morning under a pile of duvets, but it was almost midday now and he still hadn't appeared. 

Okay, there was no reason to freak. He had a ridiculously stressful day; he just needed to sleep it off. Or perhaps he was avoiding her out of embarrassment. It wouldn't be the first time.

Sam flung the blanket away, tossing her phone onto the sofa as she crept over to the bedroom. The door was closed just the way she left it, no light coming from the sliver of a gap underneath. Pushing the door open, Sam silently prayed to find Josh curled up in the same position she remembered.

The bedroom was bare. Instead of being piled onto the bed with a sleeping Josh beneath, they were thrown into a careless heap by the foot of the bed. It was cold too, as if the outside ice was creeping in - like from the broken window in the living room.

Except this time the cause was an  _open_ window, not broken. Opened from inside, too, if the unhooked latch was anything to go by.

So where the  _hell_ was Josh, and why had he disappeared without a word?

Sam felt sick. Her stomach rolled, heavy and uneasy as she stared, wide eyed, at the window. If she had just kept a better eye on him, paid more attention, this wouldn't have happened! Why was she  _always_ fucking things up? Squeezing her eyes shut Sam sucked in a breath and tried to calm the jittering of her heart.

 _Think about this Sammy,_ she told herself,  _don't panic. What can you do?_

Well, there was the obvious - go out and look for him. In the middle of a snowstorm. With practically no visibility. While injured. Even  _she_ knew that was stupid. The other option was to huddle up somewhere warm and wait for him to come back - in other words, she was completely useless. 

She stood there with her arms held stiffly by her side, fighting back the swell of tears that threatened to spill  _again._

Something slammed nearby; the sound of something crashing against a wall, so loud in the eerie silence it sent Sam's heart racing. She flinched, chest somersaulting, and spun on her heel - nearly tripping over her own feet in the process. The  _hell_ was that?

Then, faintly, a low growl reached her ears.

Shit shit  _shit._ A Wendigo? The same one that kept coming back? But it was daytime - unless somehow the storm sheltered them from the sun. No, they weren't  _vampires,_ it didn't matter if it was sunny or not. Probably. Then what?

"Josh?" she called timidly, slowly making her way over to the bedroom door. Peeking her head into the living room she saw the front door swinging gently - as if it had been thrown open and then bounced against the wall. That was one mystery solved.

The pistol was in the bedside cabinet but she tried to reason that she didn't need it. Maybe it was just the wind. She never did bother to lock the door, for all the good it would do with a shattered window right beside it. Yeah, just the wind.

Sam only took one baby step before rushing back to grab the gun. The weight of the cool metal in her hands felt reassuring. Sighing, Sam gripped it in her hands as she made her way back to the living room.

Other than the door, everything was just the way she left it. Blanket thrown to the floor, phone on the sofa, kitchen door angled open. Wait, that wasn't right! Carefully stepping over the blanket, Sam crept to the kitchen. Her foot hit something damp and mildly sticky, like juice that had been spilled and left to dry. Except  _this_ juice was crimson.  _Blood._ Bile rose to the back of her throat and she swallowed down the bitter taste with a grimace. Her hands were damp, clutching the gun like it was the only thing on the earth that mattered, but it didn't do much to help the hammering of her heart in her chest.

Nudging open the kitchen door, Sam expected the worst.

She certainly didn't expect to see Josh, back turned to her, tearing into a malformed chunk of raw meat. There were still clumps of grey-white fur clinging to it, snapped bones peeking through bloody red flesh.

Stumbling back, Sam gagged. Her hand flew to her face as if to physically shield herself. Before she could stop herself, a shriek left her lips. "Josh, what the  _hell!_ Is that a rabbit? Get it  _out_  of the kitchen!"

Josh's head whipped around, milky eyes locking with hers. For a moment he sat crouched, frozen in place, entire body perfectly still. He blinked once, twice - and then something seemed to click as a blush bloomed across his pallid cheeks. "Not what it looks like!" he sputtered out. His gangly body did a poor job of hiding the bloody carcass, but he crouched between it and Sam, casting a nervous look between them.

"I guess it's not just human flesh you have a taste for, huh?" Sam risked a smile, but it fell flat on her lips, "really though, can you  _please_ get that out of here. You know I can barely look at raw meat inside a package, never mind freshly killed." Even with Josh in the way she could see splatters of bright red blood and half-chewed meat. Looking away, Sam tried not to think about Josh tearing into it with those needlepoint teeth.

"S-sorry. It's" Josh dropped his gaze, eyebrows furrowed as he struggled with his words. Sam wanted nothing more than to pull him into a hug, to cling to him and never let go - but the blood soaked overalls weren't convincing her to get any closer. "Can't eat anything else."

Sam deflated. God, Josh had it so much worse than she had ever anticipated. Heaviness settled deep in her stomach, a familiar feeling now. "I'm sorry, Josh. I'll just... leave you to it. I'll clean up later." If she had the stomach for it.

Josh risked a quick glance up, but he only shifted awkwardly, hunching in on himself even more. No matter how much time passed, it was still creepy how flexible he was - even Sam, with regular exercise and a history of gymnastics behind her couldn't hunch like that without pain. With Josh, it just looked so natural, like sitting any other way would be uncomfortable.

"I'll go take a shower. See you in a bit, okay?" Sam turned to leave, but a gentle tug on her t-shirt brought her back to Josh. Raising a brow, she tried to focus on him - and not the mess behind. 

"Thanks. For not being weird about it." He smiled, seemingly oblivious to the way it pulled back his torn lip, making the mess of teeth all the more visible as they curled their way up his cheek. Somehow, it was kind of  _cute._

Shaking her head, Sam smiled over at him. "Don't sweat it. That's what friends are for, right?" Leaning over, Sam placed a quick peck to his forehead. For a split second it almost seemed like he leaned into the barely-there kiss. For a split second, Sam almost wanted to kiss him for real.

This mountain was really messing with her mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a bit short, but it's out less than a week after the previous one! Consider it an apology for such irregular updates.


	12. Disappear

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is another slow chapter, but I'm past the halfway mark and there's going to pick up soon! I just wanted to squeeze in another 'lazy' chapter to set the scene first~
> 
> If you enjoy the fic so far, please consider leaving a review! I appreciate every one of them!

__**Playlist  
**_Nova by Sound of Arrows_  
You Always Hurt the One You Love by The Mills Brothers  
_Please Don't Go by Barcelona_  
[[link](https://www.deezer.com/en/playlist/4647317444)]

* * *

 

"Okay, this is fine. Just rip the bandage off like a bandaid. A really big bandaid. That covers half my thigh. Yeah, no big deal." Sitting on the bed in only a t-shirt and underwear, it was painfully obvious the state her leg was in. Despite showering almost constantly to keep it clean and dressing it twice a day, it never got easier. Looking at the blood crusted bandage clinging to her thigh caused bile to rise to the back of her throat.

Gingerly she picked at the corner of the bandage that had come untucked - until stabbing needles of pain crawled along her thigh, embedding themselves deep. With a hiss Sam dropped her hand. " _Shit."_

From the other side of the bed, curled under a heap of pillows dug out from the depths of the closet, Josh watched. One hand reached out as if to help - but then he gave his clawed fingers a half-hearted glare as he drew them back.

She smiled fondly over at him. It was sweet how he wanted to help, unfortunate that his current  _condition_ stopped him. Not unfortunate for her - although it would have been great not doing this herself - but for  _him._ He was coming back to her, but physically he remained the same.

Damn, she had missed him though. Every day he seemed a little better, a little more lucid - and every day Sam felt more whole. Like she was finally finding something she hadn't even realised was missing.

Letting her dark eyes drift from him to the mess of blood and bandages on her leg, Sam groaned. "Maybe I'll do it later."

Josh just quirked a brow - which was weirdly cute, considering half of one was a scarred up mess. "Baby," he shot, lips quirking up, "managed yesterday."

Which was fair. In her defence, yesterday had been a whole different day with it's own issues to conquer. Today had no great catastrophe to occupy her mind. "Yeah well, who was a big baby when I tried to clean his face? Oh, that was you! Don't be a hypocrite." There was no menace behind her voice, just a gentle teasing that she had  _missed._ It was almost like old times. "I'll get around to it. Eventually. Maybe tonight?" Glancing down, Sam's lips curled.

As she reached over to grab her jeans from their place hanging over the end of the bed, Josh reached out. He didn't quite touch her - he never did, never initiated the contact - but a skinny hand hovered by her shoulder as he regarded her sternly. "Do it now."

"You just like seeing me in my underwear," Sam huffed, carefully sliding off the bed to awkwardly stumble into her jeans.

She was too busy wrestling with them to notice the way Josh's face flushed, but she  _did_ notice the stutter in his voice as he haltingly shot back, "who wouldn't, Giddings."

Ducking her head, Sam let her blonde hair fall - shielding the vibrant red dusting her cheeks. She didn't allow herself to wonder why that simple statement had gotten to her so much - it wasn't like Josh had never flirted with her before, he flirted with  _everyone._ But now was not the time to dwell on her growing feelings for him.

"I'm going to go get breakfast. Do you want anything - or will another rabbit do you just fine?" Her eyes sparkled as she grinned over at him, lips curling in a teasing sort of way. "Just don't make such a mess this time."

Josh might have winced, but it was difficult to tell with all of those teeth sticking out of his face. He just shuffled awkwardly, somehow managing to burrow further underneath the immense pile of pillows.

Bad move, Sammy. He was dealing with this incredibly well - but how would she have liked it if he had joked about something like this? God, she didn't even want to _know_  how many layers of trauma he wasn't allowing her to see. Just thinking about what he he must have been feeling - now, all those months ago at the reunion, the  _first_ time around when he had seen his sisters sprint off into the darkness and never return...

Shivering, Sam drew her arms around herself. They were going to need to talk about all of that, but not  _now._ When both of them were a little less fragile.

Instead she plastered a smile on her face, ignoring how it felt stiff on her lips. "I'm just messing, Josh. You can eat whatever - as long as I don't have to clean up. I might be a Wendigo fighting badass, but I'm still a  _very squeamish_ vegan." Leaning over the bed she ghosted a kiss across his cheek - only to pause as she drew back. Since when had she started  _kissing him?_ Just a peck, sure, but it was still a kiss.

Her chest thudded and she hoped Josh couldn't hear her quickening heartbeat at the contact. Jumping to her feet Sam cast him one last awkward smile as she headed for the refuge of the living room.

 _God,_ why did she have to be such an awkward loser? Things had always been so easy between them - even now, strained by what they had been through, she had expected them to fall back into their old ways. This though, this was  _new._ Good or bad, it was impossible to know.

Lunch. Lunch would take her mind off of it. Striding into the - now thankfully blood free - kitchen, a quick round of the fridge and cupboards confirmed they were low on supplies. The Washington's always kept their holiday getaways stocked with non-perishables - she had always assumed it was for those impromptu holidays where they just turned up for a day or two. If they were low though, that meant going home soon.

Christ, she had actually  _forgotten_ that they were eventually going back to California.

She settled for something quick - a tin of soup, something she had always thought the Washingtons were too good for. It taste fine though, after she had dumped in a generous amount of pepper and a tiny bit of paprika she found in one of the cupboards.

It wasn't until she settled down on the sofa, piping hot bowl of soup clasped gratefully in her hands, that she realised Josh hadn't followed her through. "Hey," she called, stretching to try and peer into the bedroom, "are you coming through?"

There was a dull non-committal groan before the shuffle of fabric falling to the floor. Moments later Josh ambled into the room, back hunched, long  legs bent in that weird way Sam was starting to get used to. It had stopped being strange a long time ago - in fact, the way it made him sway gently was kind of cute.

Sam smiled as she watched him; until her eyes reached his face. Instantly her heart dropped into the pit of her stomach. "What's wrong?"

He just shrugged in response and curled up on the sofa beside her, head tucked underneath his arm in a way that was distinctly not human but totally  _Josh._

"Talk to me Josh," Sam replied. Soup forgotten, Sam set it down on the floor by her side so she could place both hands on Josh's arm, gently easing him closer. "What happened in the thirty seconds it took me to microwave lunch?"

Still no response. After their talk yesterday she had assumed everything was out in the open - apparently not. Sucking in a breath Sam fought down the irrational coldness in her belly, the disappointment that she had failed to see the truth  _again,_ just as she always did. This  _was not_ about her. It never was.

As Sam's hand drifted up his arm, settling on his shoulder with a light squeeze, Josh tensed. "Don't," he muttered quietly, turning away from her. The sofa wasn't big - just a leather three-seater - so there wasn't much room to move. He tried, though, pressing himself into the soft cushions.

With a tiny sigh, Sam dropped her hand. The coldness was spreading, permeating through her skin until she  _swore_ she was actually lowering the temperature of the room. 

He would talk when he was ready - which for Josh could be anything from five minutes to six months. At least this was better than the sudden  _violent_ outbursts down in the mines; Josh kicking and screaming obscenities, lashing out instead of just  _explaining._ It wasn't his fault, she was selfish for blaming him when they had failed him just as much but...

The soup was still cooling on the floor, but Sam's hunger had left her. Instead there was just a dull hollowness carved into her stomach. Nudging the bowl out of the way, Sam hoisted herself to her feet. "I'm going to take a walk before it gets dark. I'll be back in an hour." This was unfair - she  _knew that,_ but she couldn't help the snappish tone to her voice as she spoke. 

She was half way through wrestling with the tangled lace of a boot before she heard scuffling, sharp talons against wood. Immediately she tensed - but then Josh's lanky torso slipped into view as he slinked over to the door. "I'll come," he said simply; though he didn't look at her.

Her eyes drifted over to him; and just like that any trace of irritation vanished. He was trying  _so hard_ to keep it together - and here she was being a jerk about it. Nice one Sam. Her hands kept fumbling to untangle her lace but she stopped paying attention, mind focused entirely on Josh. "Hey, I'm sorry I snapped at you. Maybe some exercise will put me in a better mood."

Although he still wasn't facing her, Sam saw a smile curl at the corner of his jagged cheeks. She found herself with a matching grin slowly making its way across her face.

It took another minute or two to get her shoes on, but soon enough she had thrown her thick fur coat around herself - fake fur, of course - and was ready to go.

Outside, with the cold biting her nose and wind twisting her hair high above her head, Sam felt like she was in another universe. Pure white stretched on forever, a snowy plain untouched. It was amazing how the most dangerous places were often the most beautiful.

The wind latched onto her arms, clamping down with icy hands and she wrapped her arms tightly around herself in a futile attempt to stave off the cold. "Shit, I didn't realise it was so cold. The cabin keeps in so much heat, even with a shattered window."

Beside her, Josh seemed completely at home in the winter weather. Bare feet crunched on hard-packed snow as if it was a nice sandy beach. 

As if by a psychic link - which Jess had always joked about them having - Josh turned and said, "Wendigo don't feel cold."

He wasn't  _technically_ a full Wendigo, but that didn't seem important to mention. He was Wendigo  _enough._  Which, really, was just one of a hundred things they needed to talk about.

No time like the present. What was the worst that could happen?

"Hey Josh," she broached the subject carefully, kicking a stone out of the way as her boots sunk into the snow, "there's something I've been meaning to talk to you about. Well several things, but this one is kind of pressing."

Milky eyes blinked owlishly at her - and it was just Josh, her best friend since she was eleven, but with the snow falling and dusting his face with specks of white he looked breathtaking.  _Haunting._ For a moment the air left her lungs.

"What?" he questioned, head tilting to the side. 

Sam's pulse hammered as her eyes flicked up to his. Clear blue and shining white. What was  _wrong_ with her? "Uh," she stuttered - and her voice sounded even more slurred than Josh's half-formed words. "Just... about going home."

Although the snow was slippery, Josh was eerily fluid as he stepped back, eyes wide. "Home?"

"Yeah. There's only a couple of days food left in the pantry, and mum's going to expect me back  _sometime._ " Hell, she had never figured out a proper excuse for her sudden 'holiday'. "Besides, you're parents - and Chris, and even Ash - are desperate to see you." Sam placed a soft hand against his shoulder - yes, she had to reach up much farther than she remembered - and gave a gentle squeeze.

He didn't flinch away from her touch, but he tensed as her fingers began tracing slow circles over his protruding collar bone. "Ash? After..." he trailed off, eyes dropping to the snowy ground beneath him.

It was a long way until Ash - or anyone, really - forgave him for what he did. But everyone was  _trying._ "Hey, we've all missed you. I'm not saying it's going to be easy, but we all have each other's backs. Even Emily and Jess are friends again, so  _that_ proves it." She smiled up at him, corners of her mouth hesitantly twitching upwards. "You deserve a second chance. We all messed up, so why should  _you_ be the only one punished?"

Spindly fingers twitched, sharp nails digging into Josh's hand so fiercely Sam saw blood beginning to well in his palms. "I  _don't_  deserve it! They fucked up, but I made it worse. Now I'm like - like  _this,_ just as messed up on the outside as I am inside."

Sam opened her mouth to speak, but the only thing to leave her lips was a gasp lost to the roaring wind. She didn't realise until a moment later that she had stopped in her tracks, feet sinking further into the deep snow. "Josh, I-"

"You should leave me here."

Before Sam could utter a single word, Josh wrenched himself from her gentle touch, spun on his heels - and sprinted away with such frightening speed that the snow swallowed him up within seconds.

She was left staring at his trail of bare footprints, calling out his name. Only the wind answered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to start repeating songs I think, but I'll do my best to have new ones as much as possible!


	13. Mend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I recently made a twitter for fic updates and snippets of future projects! If that interests you check me out on /mortwrites and consider giving me a follow if you have twitter too!

**_Playlist_**  
_Hard Times by Paramore_  
_My Silver Lining by First Aid Kit_  
_Skin by Rag'n'Bone Man_  
[l[ink](https://www.deezer.com/en/playlist/4691834724)]

* * *

"Josh?  _Josh!_ Where the  _fuck_ are you? _"_

Sam's voice was lost to the wind, desperate yells swallowed up by the heavy wall of snow building up all around her. With each new step her boot seemed to sink further, dense whiteness crawling up her shins. She couldn't feel her toes.

He had to be  _somewhere._ Nothing existed this far out - not even a shed he could have ducked into, out of sight. Just pure, bright white stretching on forever.

Shivering, Sam pulled her jacket up to her face, sinking into the fluffy fake fur surrounding the hood. It didn't help the icy grasp around her legs or the dull pain starting to form above her eyes, but it had to do. She  _had_ to find Josh before he got himself lost in the vast mountains - or hurt himself, or a million other possibilities. Why was she so  _stupid,_ talking to him like that and then letting him run off?

A long, piercing howl drifted over the plain of snow; like a distant wolf calling to the moon. It stretched on and on, apparently never ending - only to cut off as suddenly as it began. The silence that followed was  _deafening,_ the screeching wind barely reaching Sam's ears.

With her heart pounding in her chest, Sam picked up speed. Dragging her boots through the snow left her calves burning, feet freezing, but she didn't dare stop. With her head ducked low against the snow, she carried on.

When she next looked up, the once grey sky was already tinged with golden yellow.

" _Fuck._ " Her voice was barely a breath, unheard above the wind. Distantly, another howl seemed to mimic her. She had to get moving  _now -_ find Josh and get back to the cabin. For all the protection it actually gave her, she knew it barely made a difference - but four walls and relative comfort was better than fighting that Wendigo out in the open.

Shit. She didn't even have her gun.

Another boot in the snow, another step further from the cabin. Out here, it felt like she was hundreds of miles away from civilisation. Where could Josh have  _gone?_

The answer popped into her mind unprompted, like a late night revelation just before falling asleep. The _lodge._ He had gone to the burned remains of the lodge. Of course!

In one stumbling motion Sam spun around, ignoring how the sudden movement tore at her coat and scarf, and forced her aching legs to carry her up the mountain.

Somehow, without thinking, Sam's hand dug for her phone. Cold fingers struggled to type her password - Josh's birthday - but finally she was staring at her list of music. She clicked a playlist, turned up the volume, and clutched the phone as if her life depended on it.

This was her song -  _their_ song - and dammit Josh wasn't around to hear it but she needed  _something_ to keep her from losing her mind. Somehow, she thought, it might make finding Josh easier. Like the music was drawing her to him. Absurdly, it made her think of a documentary she watched with Emily once about  _psychic dousing._ It had seemed like utter nonsense at the time, but right now she was willing to believe anything.

The further she walked the heavier the snow became, the sun dipping lower with every second. Sam let the song play out, audible even over the screaming of the wind, and she marched.

Up close, the lodge looked even worse. Half of it lay miraculously untouched, mildly charred but still intact - the rest was a charcoal husk barely recognisable as a building at all. Looking at it then, it occurred to her how  _lucky_ they were to all get out alive. Well, almost all of them. Was Hannah's body still in there, shrivelled and burned?

The water that hit her face was freezing, almost like ice. When she wiped the tears away they were already half-frozen. 

Around the side, where the lodge was intact, Sam found the back door. Caked with white snow and grey ashes, it looked like it had been abandoned for years. The Washington's weren't going to rebuild - not with so many horrible memories attached to this place.

Sam remembered it all like it was yesterday. The bath, the sanatorium, searching for Josh and not knowing what was happening but Mike had fingers missing and  _christ,_ they were so lost. 

 _Breath in. Hold. Release._ The words were like a mantra, the only thing keeping her grounded. When she pushed the door open, her hands only shook a little. 

The hallway was dark, side table coated in a thick layer of dust. The flowers were long dead. Sam felt like she was stepping into the setup for a ghost movie. Except she knew what lurked nearby were  _far_ worse than imaginary spirits.

"Josh, are you here?" Her voice shattered the illusion of peace, voice shrill in the quiet. There was no response. "Josh it's me, Sam. We need to get somewhere safe; I think the Wendigo knows we're not at the cabin any more." 

She wandered through the remains of the lodge, poking her head through doors, each time finding nothing. It wasn't until the pristine hallway started to become a charred, ruined version of itself that Sam knew she wasn't alone.

The song, having finished but started up on repeat, echoed strangely off the walls in a way that shouldn't have even been possible; the beat of the music playing back to her. 

What was left of the front foyer was just a facade - the roof had caved in, though the fire had destroyed almost any traces of debris except for chunks of wooden beams. Carefully stepping over a burned up lump, Sam prayed the foundations would hold.

Quietly, so quietly Sam could have put it down to the wind or the damaged beams creaking, something shuffled past the door leading to the living room. When she turned there was nothing - but something had moved. She knew it.

Using the her phone as a torch Sam crept forward, gently pushing the door open with a foot, and stuck her head inside. This was the worst of it, the room where the fire had started, swallowing up everything in its path. Two of the four walls were almost gone, the rest a blackened mess. Somehow the mantelpiece was still intact; enough so that she could see the little photograph of the Washington family sitting by a broken vase.

Then, curled up like a cat by a warm fireplace in winter, sat Josh. With his head tucked into the crook of his arm she couldn't see his face - but she couldn't miss the shallow rise and fall of his chest, or the tiny whimpers muffled by his hands.

Something crunched under her feet - probably wood, she reasoned, but the mental image of blackened bones and singed flesh rose in her mind and Sam didn't let herself look down. "God Josh, what happened?" Another step forward, another soft crunch, and Sam fought against the image of blazing fire rising high above as smoke filled her lungs. When she took in a breath it was shaky, uneven.

She didn't expect Josh to react, but disappointment still settled heavily when he didn't move to look at her.

She crouched beside him and didn't pay attention to the ashes clinging to her jeans or the snow soaking through to her knees. Leaning forward she let a hand gently drift across his shoulders, giving him space to move if he wanted. When he didn't, Sam allowed herself to wrap an arm around him and pull him close. Dropping her head into the crook of his neck Sam inhaled.

He smelled stale and sweaty and at any other time she would have wrinkled her nose and made some stupid joke about his relationship with hygiene - instead she just sighed and closed her eyes, letting that smell envelop her. He was  _here,_ uninjured and safe.

"I don't know  _what's_ going through your mind, Josh, but if you ever need to talk - now or  _any time -_ I'm here. I'm sorry I sprung that on you the way I did. I guess I thought you were ready to go home; I should have paid more attention." She had never been good at knowing how he really felt, had she? This was just another one of her hundreds of failures to be a decent friend. She was going to try harder -  _so much harder,_ even if it seemed impossible.

A tiny whimper escaped his torn lips as he curled into her, skinny arms wrapping around her torso and pulling her ever closer. He pressed his face close, so close she felt his teeth graze her throat and it took every ounce of self control not to flinch. "Don't want anyone to see me. Up here I can't hurt anyone." His voice was gravelly and slurred, somehow even  _worse_ than usual.

Sam's grip tightened around him, strong arms clinging as if that could somehow take all the hurt away. It wasn't much, but in that moment it was all she could do to keep from breaking. "I've been here for five days and you haven't hurt me. You _wouldn't._ "

"Sammy, I hurt  _everyone_ -"

Sam pulled him closer, gently nuzzling into his shoulder. "Shoosh. That's a conversation for later. Now let's get back to the cabin." When Sam pulled away she caught a glisten of tears on Josh's cheek. Without thinking she reached out to brush them away, hand grazing the torn side of his cheek. 

He flinched back, shying away from her touch as if it had burned him. A clawed hand reached up, hovering right where Sam's had been moments ago. Then he ducked his head, mangled cheek angled away as if to hide it from her.

He looked so nervous, self conscious in a way so  _unlike_ the Josh she knew that for a moment she couldn't form words. There was an ache in her chest like a physical pain, a yearning to reach out and tell him  _no, you're gorgeous,_ and somehow make this all better. She couldn't though; no number of kind words were going to fix this.

Instead she shuffled forward to take his clawed hand in hers, squeezing gently. When she spoke, her breath plumed out in front of her. "Hey, you're just as handsome as the day I met you. Some people are into fangs you know." Internally she cringed at her stupid choice of words, but then Josh let out a snort of laughter and it was  _worth it._ "Seriously! Mike dated a girl who had a thing for vampires. Or was it werewolves? Either way..." A grin of her own curled at her lips as she leaned forward to peck his forehead.

He didn't flinch away this time. Good sign.

"Now really, can we head back to the cabin? My nose is about to freeze off and it would be  _really_ embarrassing to survive multiple Wendigo attacks and die by frostbite instead." Despite the lightness in her voice Sam shuddered at the reminder that they probably weren't alone. Was it even a good idea to venture back out into the snow?

At least Josh was in better spirits. That smartass grin was contagious, and he looked so  _cute_ with those lopsided lips and teeth peeking through the tear. It shouldn't have even been possible - but the sight of him made Sam  _melt._

She pulled herself to her feet and dusted down her jeans - not  that it made a difference to the dampness soaking through, chilling her - and stuck out a hand for Josh. Despite being so much taller than before he was  _lighter,_ Sam pulling him to his feet so easily he stumbled forward. Right into her arms.

They stared at each other for a long moment. Neither spoke. Sam felt heat creep into her cheeks and hoped to God he put it down to the cold instead of  _this._ He was so close... if she just leaned forward an inch or two their lips would meet...

"Slow down Sammy," Josh said with a laugh, "not the time for a kiss."

Ah. _There_  was the Josh she remembered.

Huffing out a sigh she socked him in the shoulder - then dodged out of the way before he could retaliate. Even with her cold feet and stiff legs she managed to cross the destroyed living room before he caught her. Or maybe he was just pretending to try. "Man, I can't wait for a cup of tea by the fire," she said wistfully, glancing down to carefully step over broken wood. No bones after all.  _Obviously._ With Josh back she was feeling so much better.

At least she was; until a low, drawn out  _shriek_ reached her ears. There was nothing for one impossibly long moment - and then another shriek, an amalgam of human and  _something else_ that was so close Sam swore she felt the vibration through the remains of the floor.

The third time, it was just around the corner.

 


	14. Attack

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey shoutout to ClumsyBookworm18 for being a total angel and posting so many sweet comments on this fic! I love you???

_**Playlist**_  
_Dark Days by The Phantoms_  
_Sour Times by Portishead_  
_All Nightmare Long by Metallica_  
[[link](https://www.deezer.com/en/playlist/4709256144)]

* * *

Suddenly Josh's arms were around her, clawed hands curling around her wrists as he pressed flush against her. They were  _so close,_ frosted breath mingling in the air and for a moment Sam forgot about the pending threat perhaps only metres away. 

She imagined what he would feel like without her thick coat between them - would she have felt lean muscle pressed against her stomach, or the sharp press of ribs? Would he have been able to feel her pulse, hot and frantic against his own skin? Sam's cheeks flushed, and she buried her head in the crook of his neck. 

"Where is it?" Josh's voice was gravelly in her ear, his arms tightening around her.  
  
"I don't know," Sam whispered back. The urge to crane her neck around and look was  _ _overwhelming__ but her body refused to move. It was like she was frozen, limbs seizing despite the adrenaline bubbling in her veins.

Somewhere close by, the Wendigo let out a long, piercing screech.

 _It's okay,_ she told herself silently,  _you know the score. Just. Don't. Move._ She had done this before; in this exact spot three months ago. One moment Hannah's snarling face had been so close to hers she had felt breath on her cheeks, the smell of rotting flesh filling up her nose, the urge to vomit rising-

As if sensing her fear - and hell, maybe Wendigo's  _could _-__ Josh let out a quiet purr, nuzzling into her hair. "Won't let it hurt you," he told her - and he sounded so sure, so convinced of his own abilities that Sam  _ _had__ to believe him.

With his arms around her, head resting atop hers, Sam knew she was safe.

A flash of grey passed through Sam's peripheral, slinking along the blackened wall with ease. It scuttled right above them like some huge, deformed spider before settling above the remains of the fireplace. 

Sam  _felt_ it looming above them; the physical embodiment of fear pressing down on her, suffocating. She sucked in a breath as it moved, daring to flicker her eyes up. She instantly regretted it.

Staring right back at her were those awful milky eyes rimmed with dark, deep set circles. 

A shuddering breath left her and Josh whined quietly in response. A warning  _ _not to move.__

The Wendigo dropped to the ground with an echoing  _thud,_ gangly limbs twisting in a way no human limb should be able to. Well, it was  _ _far__ from human now; those laws didn't apply. For a moment it just stood there, grey-blue eyes boring into Sam's soul - then it crossed the distance between them in one loping step, face inches away.

She wanted to bury her face in Josh's neck, squeeze her eyes shut and wish it all away - but despite her brain screaming at her to do so, her body knew what was best. To stay frozen still. Not even her chest moved, her breath held perfectly.

It saw them - it  _knew_  they were there. It was impossible for it to be so close and not have any idea it was so close to another living being. Any second now it was going to realise, going to unhinge that awful jaw and rip out her throat.

 _Won't let it hurt you._  Josh's voice echoed in her mind; so sure of himself, of their safety.

The Wendigo tilted its head, let out a long, slow growl - and then it was scuttling away, disappearing through the gaping hole in the wall and back out into the snow.

Sam drank in a breath, head spinning. Slowly her arms relaxed and she stepped away from Josh - only for her legs to collapse beneath her. She hit the bed of snow and ash, a grey cloud exploding up around her. Closing her eyes she let out a shaky laugh. "We're alive!" she exclaimed - then cracked an eye open just to make sure the damn thing wasn't still around to hear her. No, they were definitely alone.

Josh joined her on the ground, collapsing into an ungainly heap at her side. "Safer to stay here tonight?"

Sam cringed. "No way; I'll freeze. if it doesn't know where we are, we should be okay to head back. Just keep an eye out." It wasn't as if Wendigo knew how to track footprints. Right?

Josh turned to her, doing his best attempt to raise an eyebrow - instead he sort of just looked like he was grimacing. " _Stay here._ Too dangerous outside." He put a hand on hers - for the first time Sam noticed he no longer seemed hesitant to touch her - and shook his head.

Sam turned her hand palm up so she could gently wrap her fingers around his. She didn't need to be careful of the claws any more. "Please? The later it gets the colder it gets - I don't have your new Wendigo cold resistance. Do you know how to deal with someone who has frostbite?" Sam quirked a brow, smiling gently to let him know she wasn't really annoyed.

He just huffed, lips puckering into a pout. "No."

"Then let's get back." Her legs felt impossibly heavy as she pulled herself to her feet, threatening to collapse back underneath her. Bits of ash floated up and she brushed them away with a wince. If she never had to see this lodge again, she would be happy.

Josh kept close to her side as they braved the outside again - it seemed nothing was going to make him leave her side. She wasn't complaining though.

The wind ripped at her hair, thick tendrils of blonde twirling up into the sky. Most of her bun was just a tangled rat's nest doing its best to blind her. She swiped it away with a cold-stiff hand, only for it to whip right back into her eyes. She turned to Josh with a pout - only to hear him stifle a laugh. At least her misfortune was  _entertaining._ From what little she was able to see of him in the inky darkness, he definitely looked at ease.

"I can't see  _ _shit,__ " Sam grouched as her foot came down on a hard lump that could have only been a rock. "I hope I don't end up flat on my face." She kept walking, hands burrowed deep in her jacket pockets. After a few moments she stopped and turned - why did she feel like Josh wasn't beside her any more? Squinting in the darkness she saw that he  _ _wasn't.__

He stopped a few feet back, head tilted to the side in the telltale sign he was thinking. Then he grinned, spiked teeth glinting in the night. In one swoop he closed the distance between them, spindly arms wrapping around Sam, and hoisted her onto his shoulders.

Sam shrieked as her feet left the ground, automatically trying to wiggle out of Josh's grasp. Before she knew it she was clinging to his back for  _dear life._ He felt far too skinny to be able to support her weight like this.

"Jeez Sammy, you're heavy," he joked, adjusting his position - which happened to include wrapping his arms around her thighs to support her.

Her face flushed, and for once she was grateful for the dark night. "It's muscle and you know it," she shot back with a smile in her voice, "besides, you love it."

"I like my women buff."

His response was so deadpan, so  _serious,_ that Sam felt the laughter bubble up before she could stop it. She couldn't figure out if he was trying and failing to flirt, or if he just hadn't got the hang of speaking clearly yet. Either way a laugh burst from her lips as she dropped her head into the crook of Josh's neck, the giggles causing Josh to almost lose his grip.

Wincing, Sam socked him in the shoulder. "Watch the thigh! It still hurts like hell."

With Sam clinging tightly to his back they made the slow progress across the expanse of heavy snow. It was easy to imagine they were just heading back to the lodge after a day of throwing snowballs and messing around. They would come back to Jess or Matt cooking dinner, Chris and Ash curled up on the sofa watching a shitty movie. Just like countless years before.

Sam huffed quietly, glaring at the darkness ahead. If only time travel existed.

A sound caught her ears, so quiet at first she couldn't make out what it was. She opened her mouth to  point it out - but Josh beat her to it. "Hear that?" he questioned, voice low.

"Yeah. What is it?"

Then she heard it - louder, clearer. A low, almost cautionary whine from somewhere to their left. Then again behind them, closer than before. Sam pictured the Wendigo, hidden by the darkness, stalking them. Slowly but steadily closing ground until it was only feet away. It was going to wait until they were almost back at the cabin, and then...

It let out a shriek, so close that Sam felt it ringing in her ears, the tinny sound lasting long after their surroundings fell silent. She tensed, burying her face in Josh's shoulder. "Shit. I thought it was gone!"

"We can make it back. Hide."

"Hiding won't work," Sam snapped. It wasn't helping but God she was  _terrified_ and the cabin was no safe haven and she really,  _really_ didn't want to die now when she had come so far. Her hands shook so furiously she was losing her grip around Josh, heart thundering so furiously his next words were drowned out to nothing more than senseless muttering.

Before she had a chance to protest Josh dropped her haphazardly onto her feet. They wobbled but she held her ground, wide eyes squinting at him in the darkness. "What are you doing?"

"I can fight better," he replied with a casual shrug - but even in the darkness Sam saw how wide his eyes were, how unsteady he looked as he cast a furtive glance behind. His eyes shone silver in the dark.

Again that inhuman scream rang out, echoing into the nothingness. The way it seemed to bounce around the mountain top made it seem like there were dozens of Wendigo, all creeping up on them from every direction.

Despite the snow surrounding them, Sam felt too hot, too stifled. "I saw we run for it. Get inside, grab my gun, hole ourselves up." Yeah, what an excellent plan. She didn't give herself time to dwell on it as she grabbed Josh by the hand and took off. Her feet only sank into the snow, soaking into her jeans - but she pushed on, legs burning with the effort. 

All of a sudden, chaos exploded around them. Before she knew it Sam was  _ _streaking__ across the mountain, Josh loping along beside her. Her legs protested, her lungs were gasping for air but she didn't -  _couldn't _-__ stop. Something screamed behind her and she barrelled forward even faster, groping in the darkness for something to steady her.

Her foot hit something buried under the snow and she tumbled, hand leaving Josh's as she smashed the ground. Pain bloomed along her thigh - but the ice soaking through to her skin was so cold it started to numb. Then gangly arms scooped her up and they were running again, not daring to look back.

Her brain was a buzz of activity, vision blurred - she didn't even see the cabin until her hands met solid wood, pushing the door open without even realising they were back. With a gasp she slammed it closed, lungs finally filling with cold night air.

"Josh, shove something up against the broken window. I'm getting the pistol." The words barely left her lips before she was on the move again, but dimly she thought  _like that will stop it. There are plenty of other windows to smash._

It wasn't until she toughed the cool smoothness of the gun in her hands that Sam allowed herself a moment to breath. It was almost impossible to hear over the  _thud thud_ of her heart - but the dim scrape of claws against wood still rang in her ears.

It was just outside.

Josh slipped into the room perfectly soundlessly, bare feet not making a sound against the wooden floor. His eyes shone faintly -  _like a cat _,__ Sam thought absently. 

Absurdly a laugh threatened to spill from her lips, more hysteric than amused - but she choked it down with a stifled cough behind her hand. 

The dull scratching moved on, clawed fingers raking against the outside walls but moving  _ _away.__ In seconds, there was only silence.

Sam held her breath, straining her ears for any sort of sound - but there was only the pattering of snow against the roof and the rhythm of her own heartbeat. "Maybe it doesn't know we're here?" Sam whispered.

The words barely left her lips - then there was an explosion of sound as glass shattered, the shriek of the Wendigo so shrill it  _hurt._

Sam dropped to the ground as glass shards scattered around her, gasping as something sliced across her cheek. There was a sharp shock of pain as blood bloomed - but not giving herself time to worry Sam pushed herself back to her feet.

Josh was already in front of her, towering above her like some weird, denim-clad knight in shining armour. Then there stood the Wendigo, all stretched out limbs and sunken eye sockets. Seeing them like that, for one frightening moment it became clear what Josh could have become.

It was then that Sam realised her hands were empty.  _ _The gun!__ With no lights there was only grey, the dim outline of furniture reduced to deformed lumps. She stretched out a hand but felt only cool floor.  _ _Dammit.__ Where was it? She threw out a hand again, fumbling in the darkness for something she wasn't even sure was there-

Then the Wendigo's silvery white eyes turned to her. In a blurr of motion it launched itself across the bedroom, arms knocking Sam backward with such force she was left breathless. It loomed above her, staring unblinkingly, as if trying to decide what to do with her.

She was shaking, breath leaving her in short, sharp gasps as she stared into the blank eyes of a monster. She had escaped this thing too many times before - looking at it, somehow she knew it wasn't going to let that happen again.

Good thing she didn't intend on dying on this stupid mountain.

With a yell Sam kicked out, boots knocking the Wendigo away with more force than she thought herself capable of. Her injured thigh protested, blood dampening her already filthy jeans - but Sam was on her feet in a second, barely giving herself time to think. 

The Wendigo tumbled away with a shriek, hitting the wall with a satisfying  _thump._

Josh was by her side in a second and she swore he was  _grinning_ at her - although the way his hands shook suggested he didn't feel any better than she did.

"Distract it; I need the gun."

She didn't say another word but Josh seemed to know  _ _exactly__ what to do. She wondered if Jess was right, all those times she said she and Josh had a _psychic connection._

Sam turned as the Wendigo clambered back to its feet - but she didn't miss the way it twisted, limbs bent at impossible angles. In the almost perfect darkness, it looked like something out of the worst horror movies.

Spinning, Sam searched for the pistol - but it was  _ _impossible__ to see, her eyes straining but coming up with nothing. She dropped to the floor, heart pounding in her ears, and threw a hand out. She  _ _had__ to find it!

Behind her, the Wendigo circled Josh. Sam forced herself not to look, but she  _ _felt__ the way it edged closer, talons curling toward Josh.

Her hand bumped against something small and cool. Immediately she grasped for it, a sigh of relief escaping her lips as her hand curled around the familiar shape of her pistol. Jumping to her feet she spun around, a triumphant grin spreading across her face. She aimed, flicked off the safety and-

The Wendigo had other ideas. One huge, spindly hand reached out, knocking Josh away as if he was a toy it had lost interest in. 

Josh hit the wall with a pained grunt, the force somehow sending a long crack spiralling along the wall.

"Shit, Josh!" Sam cried out, launching into action - but the Wendigo was faster, a blur as it reached for her. Then it grabbed her by the waist and shoved her against the wall.

Her head hit plaster and for a moment the world spun around her. Her grip held steady on the gun but it was  _ _too close now,__ her arms trapped at her side. She wriggled in its grasp, fought against the skinny arms pressing into her more and more. Why was it so difficult to breathe?

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The longer this goes the more abstract my song choice gets. This was supposed to be 10 chapters I haven't planned enough music!!


	15. Over

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EDIT: I missed such a good opportunity to use one of my FAVE songs so I'm adding it for shits n giggles. Prodigy fans, enjoy :P

_Playlist_  
_Wolves by Down Like Silver  
_ _Firestarter by The Prodigy_  
_Love Like You by Rebecca Sugar (Steven Universe OST)_  
_You've Got the Love by Florence + The Machine_  
[[link](https://www.deezer.com/en/playlist/4740305144)]

* * *

Sam's nails dug into the Wendigo's leathery flesh as she struggled to break free, fingers turning white as she desperately tried to claw at its iron grip. There was pressure on her chest, lungs burning but she  _couldn't see_ what was happening; her vision was filled with pointed, yellowed teeth and glazed white eyes.

The pistol, arm trapped by her side, wasn't a comfort any more. It was just another reminder of how useless she was, even when she thought she was prepared.

The Wendigo loomed above her, and as the corners of Sam's vision began to blur she swore it _grinned_ at her. Her lungs burned, but her mind was too fuzzy to put up a fight any more. As the world darkened around her, Sam felt fresh tears drip down her chin.

The next thing Sam knew she was on the ground, coughing up a lung as she drank in fresh, cold air. It stung, but God she was  _breathing _,__ and she didn't know how because her chest felt like it was on fire but who cared?

She looked up as the coughing subsided, and everything suddenly snapped back into focus,

Josh's arms pinned the Wendigo to the ground, his head tilted back - away from snapping jaws. Blood soaked through his denim overalls and she _knew_ it wasn't there before. It dripped down, pattering against the floor and staining the wood crimson.

Sam tried to stand - but her legs gave in, knees caving as she collapsed with a breathless gasp. It felt as if she had been put through a meat grinder - there wasn't a single part of her body that didn't feel bruised. Almost as an afterthought, she wondered how she was going to explain this to her mother.

A deep growl brought her rushing back to the present. The Wendigo writhed and twisted under Josh, talons snagging on his bloodied overalls, but unable to grab hold. Josh had it under control - but for how long? Already he looked tired, his arms starting to shake.

She had to do _something._ She wasn't going to fail him - not again, not  _ever._ She just had to figure out a plan, execute it, and not die in the process. Easy. She had done this before, after all.

That was when it clicked. Bending to grab the gun, Sam kept her eyes trained on the scene in front of her. Then she backed up toward the kitchen, fumbling for the door handle without turning to look.

The Wendigo twisted in Josh's grip - one arm slid free, elongated hand reaching up to swat him away. Josh ducked away just in time but he toppled as the Wendigo lurched free - then both were on their feet, lips peeled back in identical toothy snarls, deep growls in their chests.

Josh lurched forward with such speed the Wendigo didn't have a chance to react. He pinned it against the wall, face inching closer - then his teeth sank into its flesh, tearing out a bloody chunk of shoulder.

Then there was a blur of movement as the two launched at each other and Sam didn't know which one was Josh an which one was the monster trying to kill him.

Sam turned away as vomit threatened to rise in her throat. In that moment Josh looked far more Wendigo than ever - whatever he did next, she was better off not knowing. Heart pounding a mile a minute she slipped into the kitchen, eyes squeezed shut against the images of Josh as he ripped flesh from the Wendigo's shrivelled body.

The door swung shut behind her, and all of a sudden Sam was alone. The snarls and shrieks of the fight were muffled, so far away it was almost as if they weren't real. But Sam was long past the point of wishing this was a dream.

Without a holster Sam settled for shoving the gun in the back pocket of her jeans - dangerous sure, but no more dangerous than being murdered by a monstrous cannibal. Then, biting back the pain shooting through her thigh, she stumbled to the stove. Shaky hands quickly worked at the dials, turning each one as high as it would go. Her heart was pounding even before the smell of gas hit her, but the stench burned her lungs and sent her beating heart into overdrive. 

Matches. There  _ _had__ to be matches somewhere - they had a wood burning stove for God's sake! Fighting back the urge to retch Sam yanked open a drawer. Cutlery. So she threw open the next, then the next, and the  _ _next__ until -  _jackpot!_

Two matches lay at the bottom of the pack, but one was all she needed. They joined the pistol in a back pocket, Sam's hands shaking so badly she almost dropped them to the floor. A curse escaped her lips, frustration beginning to bubble up inside - and she had to fight her instincts to breathe deeply.  _ _Not__ while surrounded by gas.

She almost made her way to the door before doubling back, long arms reaching for the oven dials. Just for good measure. 

Somewhere in the living room, Josh let out a pained whine that was almost drowned out by the deep growls of the Wendigo. Then silence.

"Fuck," Sam gasped as she sprinted for the door - but instead of throwing it open, she paused. What if this didn't work? How much gas did she need for this to work? What if Josh didn't get out in time? Last time, Emily and Mike had barely made it out in time - and Sam still felt the ghost of heat across her back, the memory of still healing burns.

Dampness hit her cheek, but she didn't bother to wipe it away. Instead she grabbed up the last two matches, flung open the door, and yelled with such ferocity it left her breathless. "Josh, get out of here  _ _now.__ As for you, motherfucker - come get me."

She just had time to see Josh's confusion melt into wide eyed understanding as he sniffed the air - but then the Wendigo's head snapped toward her. With her own pulse pounding in her ears she spun, slender fingers fumbling for one of the matches.

In her peripheral, the Wendigo's arms reached around the door. Slowly, as if taunting her.

 _Well, cabin, it's been nice. Sorry I have to completely wreck you like I did the lodge._ The irony of the situation didn't pass over her head, and the absurd urge to laugh rose in her chest.

She spared one glance at the door just as the Wendigo's leathery face crept into view -before leaping over the kitchen counter and _throwing_ herself at the window.

It shattered, glass flew, and pain sliced across the back of her hand. Hissing, Sam tried to ignore the shards digging into her skin as she braced herself against the window pane.

Behind her the Wendigo shrieked so shrilly it might have shattered the window if it wasn't already.

Sam didn't look as she lit the match, tossing it behind her without giving herself time to think. Then she flung herself forward, free falling from the window as the Wendigo screamed behind her.

She landed on her feet but there was no time to marvel at that miracle. She ran, her entire body  _burning_ and God knew how she managed it, but she managed to drop to the ground and cover her head before the deafening explosion hit her ears. Even with her eyes squeezed shut, red lit up her vision and it  _hurt._ The warmth enveloping her was too hot and it felt like her skin was  _sizzling_ and shit, this was how she was going to die-

Then everything was silent, the only sound the ringing of her ears.

When she cracked open her eyes, all she saw was perfect white snow. 

The cold numbed her thigh as she dragged herself to sit up, but the rest of her body felt as if she'd been pummelled to within an inch of her life. Was there a single part of her not bruised or sliced? She winced as mottled blue skin caught her eye through a tear in her hoodie. 

It took what felt like  _hours_ to pull herself to her feet. She had never been so tired in her life, every inch of her body struggling with such a simple command. She swayed for a moment, the ache settling deep into her bones, before slowly turning to the cabin.

The only thing that remained of the Washington's cabin was a charred husk. By some miracle one wall still stood, blackened, wisps of fire clinging, the smoke reaching for the sky. The rest was just  _nothing._

She turned away, eyes closed. No way the Wendigo survived - but she didn't want to see the body. The image rose in her mind against her will; a charred lump of a body; that's if there was even a whole body left to see. Bile rose in her throat - then she was doubled over, vomiting up her last meal into the snow.

When she straightened out, her first thought was _Josh._

Snow still fell from the darkened sky, a  _pitter patter_ of damp against her skin. Shivering, Sam pressed forward on legs far too shaky and far too sore.

"Josh? Where are you?" She called into the night, her voice echoing back in a distorted parody. Sam fought the urge to flinch; it was too much like the voice of a Wendigo. How was she sure there was only one? Sucking in a breath, Sam called again. "Josh? Come on, answer me!"

Why wasn't he responding? Was he playing a stupid trick? It wasn't funny, it was childish and frightening and God,  _where was he?_

There was one obvious answer, but Sam wasn't even going to consider it. Josh was alive andfine,he had to be.

Something crunched under foot and Sam glanced down, squinting.. Charred wood, thrown across the snow in the explosion. In the darkness, it almost looked like a limb. Tears sprang to her eyes but she swallowed down the sob rising in her throat. 

Something flashed across her vision, a shadow moving across the burned cabin remains. Sam's head whipped up, body freezing with one foot mid-air. Her eyes strained in the darkness but there was only stillness.

The figure moved again and Sam held her breath - but Josh emerged from the darkness, face melting into a look of such relief it _melted_ her heart. She threw her arms open wide and suddenly he was  _ _there,__ in her embrace like he belonged. Burying her head in his shoulder and breathing deeply, Sam didn't even care that he smelled of sweat and blood.

"You're okay," Josh sighed in relief, his voice strangled like he was about to cry. She had never heard him so  _vulnerable,_ at least not willingly so.

Sam's heart swelled, tears threatening to leak from her eyes. "Relatively speaking," she managed to joke, "God I was so  _ _scared.__  I thought you hadn't made it out in time." She clung to him tighter, not even caring that his teeth scraped against her neck as she nestled closer. 

"You saved me."

Sam's mind flickered to the cabin, her voice screeching for Josh to run - but she had the feeling he didn't just mean that.

"I did. And I will; every time." She broke their embrace, trying to ignore how empty her arms felt without him in them. When she looked up and met Josh's eyes, she smiled.

He looked the same, but not. The teeth were still there, jutting out from his upper jaw; and his eyes were still milky white. She knew, though, that he was Josh again. Completely.

Sam wasn't aware of what she was doing until her face was inches from Josh's.  Blonde eyelashes brushed against his greying skin, and then her lips were on his.

He tasted of sweat and raw meat, but Sam didn't care. Her lips barely grazed his, gentle and soft while his were chapped, teeth poking the corner of her mouth as she swept across them. None of that mattered because this was  _ _Josh__ and she loved him and they were _alive-_

"Ouch!" Sam drew back, hand flickering to tough the edge of her lips. Her fingers drew back, revealing a splash of red. "Oh."

Josh paled and reeled back, eyes wide. "Sorry! Shit, I'm so sorry!"

She only smiled up at him. "It's fine. I guess kissing is going to take practice. If you  _ _want to,__ I mean. I should have asked." She ducked her head, and all of a sudden she realised just how  _ _stupid__ that was. Josh wasn't interested in _her _;__ going through so much together didn't mean he was entitled to want her back. She was such an idiot, ruining this when they had just got each other back-

Cold, disfigured lips met hers again, gentle and careful in a way she had never known Josh to be. It occurred to her then that this was Josh, stripped of all his jokes and defences and playboy exterior. The Josh she had seen glimpses of underneath the fake smiles and crude innuendos.

Her eyes slipped closed as she pressed herself flush against him. The mountain could throw whatever the  _ _hell__ it wanted at her now and she wouldn't have even cared - all she needed was this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Second shoutout! This time to WonderAss (best name ever by the way :P) for the lovely mini-essay they left on chapter 14. You're awesome!
> 
> I fretted over this chapter forever so yeah, it's not perfect but at least they smooch okay!


	16. Almost Normal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oooh boy we're so close to the end! A couple chapters left and then it's done. Enjoy some more heartfelt moments from now on to make up for all the angst :)

__**Playlist  
**_Broken by The Gorillaz_  
You are the Moon by The Hush Sound  
_Odds Are by Barenaked Ladies_  
[[link](https://www.deezer.com/en/playlist/4754214064)]

* * *

Sam gently trailed a hand across Josh's shredded mouth, smiling into his lips as her fingers brushed against protruding teeth. Even though she shivered, the cold seeping into her skin, everything was  _perfect._

Then her eyes snapped open as something  _ _very__ important suddenly occurred to her. "Josh," she gasped as she broke their kiss, placing a hand on either side of his face, "we don't have anywhere to stay. I blew up  _both buildings."_

He regarded her for a moment, head tilted to the side in that way Sam adored - before snorting out a laugh and burying his head in her shoulder. "Stop being an arsonist, then."

"Hey, I saved your butt! Be grateful!" She huffed quietly - but snuggled closer to him, slender arms clinging to him for what little body heat he had. "Seriously though, we're on the top of a goddamn mountain, my car is parked outside some shitty motel I'm not even staying at... wait. Motel. I guess I've stayed in worse places."

"Like when you and Emily went on a road trip. You got stuck at that place above a gas station." Josh snickered into her shoulder, blowing a puff of loose hair over her shoulder.

Yeah, like  _that time._ Two years later Emily still didn't let her live it down. "Hannah warned us not to go but  _no,_ we were too stubborn."

Josh quietened at the mention of his sister, burying his face further into the safety of Sam's neck. She hugged back, suddenly wishing she hadn't said her name - but then Josh laughed weakly and said, "Yeah, Hannah was always the smartest of all of us."

"She sure was," Sam replied quietly and placed a soft kiss against his dark curls. Then with a grimace she said, "gross. You  _so_ need a shower."

"Motel?"

"Motel."

They pulled away, but Sam's hand slid down to curl into the palm of his hands. His claws scratched against her knuckles but it was kind of  _ _comforting.__ He was still Josh, just a little different now. She glanced up at him, nose wrinkling. "Shit, all my stuff will be ruined. I've only got my phone and keys." Sam stuck her hand in her hoodie pocket to confirm - and yes, at least her phone was intact. 

"Worry about it once we're there," Josh advised. Since when was he the wisest? 

Huffing out a breath Sam nodded. "Yeah, fair enough. After everything we've been through, this is  _ _cake.__ " Actually, she  _ _really__ wanted cake right now. She deserved thebiggest slice of vegan chocolate right now.

Josh took a step, bare feet sinking into the snow. It had stopped falling, but a few white flecks clung to his perfectly black hair. 

Hand still in his, Sam followed. As she fell into step beside him she glanced back, blue eyes fixed on the charred facade of the cabin. The fire had died almost to nothing; only embers remained. With one last narrowed eyed glare, Sam sighed and turned away.

_Goodbye Washington Mountain. I hope I never see you again._

They walked in silence, hand in hand, Josh's wide strides slowed so Sam kept up. He was standing straighter, she noticed, his steps less jittery - from this angle, head tilted up to see his unmarred cheek, he looked exactly like his old self. Well, not  _ _quite.__ His old self but  _better._

Everything was going to be fine.

The rickety old cable car was just as Sam left it, creaking gently in the breeze. That first night, pulling open the door and stepping onto the mountain for the first time in months, Sam had felt like it was the end of the world. As she pulled the door open and stepped back inside, she felt only relief.

Josh hunched down as he slipped in beside her. He had been almost too tall  _ _before,__ the tallest of his friends - but now he looked far too big for the cramped space. He huffed as he pulled the door closed behind, his legs stretched out to accommodate for the lack of space.

The cable car jolted into motion, jerking Sam forward with a hiss as her thigh knocked against the metal seat. Then they were moving  _painfully_ slow down the mountain, the burned lodge and newly destroyed cabin left behind. 

The air inside the cramped little cable car felt thick, heavy and almost  _ _hot__ despite the freezing temperatures outside. The silence too felt nothing like it had outside. With nothing to occupy her time, Sam was left to think.

Staring out the window, Sam watched as dark silhouettes of trees passed by. She squinted in the darkness for signs of movement - a flash of something running by, leaving almost-human footprints in the snow. Shivering, she pulled her hoodie tight around her.

Then she was pulled into a hug; skinny arms gently pulling her close. "It's okay," Josh whispered in her ear.

"I should be the one telling  _ _you__ that," she replied sourly - but she nuzzled closer, pressing her body into his. "I spent so much time focusing on getting you off the mountain I never gave a thought of  _after._ What are we going to do?"

When she glanced up, Josh's head was lowered. "Dunno. I can't explain this away." He gestured to the ruined side of his face, expression darkening. "I guess I'll just claim amnesia, figure it out as I go."

Sam huffed out a sigh, nodding as she buried closer into his side. "You're parents will be glad to have you back. That's all that matters."

"Yeah..." The arm around her tensed, gaze shifting. Why didn't he seem convinced? Sam didn't need to ask, because Josh spoke as if he had read her mind. Or perhaps it was finally time for him to open up. "They're going to hate me, once they find out the shit I pulled. Dad  _ _knew__ I was off my meds, knew I'd been skipping the psychiatrist. He tried to talk to me about it, a couple of weeks before the lodge but I just  _snapped._ I'd already planned the pranks by then." 

Sam reached up - but instead of leaning into her embrace he flinched back and snapped back his arm from around her so quickly a claw snagged on her hood. They both winced, but Sam recovered first. "The'll be  _ _so happy__ that you're back. You're their son - and parents support their kids through all of their dumb shit and failures."

He dropped his head into his hands, fists gripping handfuls of thick hair. "Sure, maybe; but what if they take one look at me - at what I've become - and realise all along that I was just this awful, messed up  _monster._ The only difference is now you can see it on my face." His breath came out in short, heavy rasps and for a heart stopping second Sam thought he was going to hyperventilate. Instead a quiet sob escaped his throat as he curled into himself, the sound strangled as if he didn't want Sam to hear.

“One step at a time, okay? Let’s focus on getting off this mountain first.” She reached out to place a hand against his arm - and, when he didn’t move away, she pulled him in for a hug.

Josh froze, and for one long moment she thought he was going to pull away - but instead he leaned in, gently brushing his lips across hers.

She smiled as his exposed teeth grazed her skin and tilted her head so she could trace a kiss against the torn side of his mouth. She felt his jaw clench, __felt__ his nervous gaze on her; but instead of pulling away she placed another gentle kiss against the corner of his mouth, smiling.

Sam was thrown forward as the cable car lurched to a stop, a gasp leaving her lips as she landed in Josh’s lap. With her legs thrown over his and her arms thrown wide, she was hyper aware of how, if she had landed just a little differently, she would have been straddling him. Her face flushed. __Actually,__ she thought, gaze dropping to his thighs, __it would have been a good excuse to do just that.__

“You all right?”

His voice broke her from her less than appropriate thoughts. Immediately she sat up and clambered off, face turning scarlet. With her fair skin and his weird Wendigo vision, it was embarrassingly obvious. Which only made her flush __more.__ “Fine,” she answered a little too quickly - then in one swift move she shoved open the cable car door, met with a rush of freezing air.

She took a second to pat down her pockets. __Please,__ let her keys be there. She had her phone, worse for wear but intact, but her __car keys.__ For one heart stopping second they seemed to have disappeared. Did she leave them in the cabin, where they were now destroyed? Then her hands curled around the little kitten key chain Beth had given her for her sixteenth birthday and she sighed in relief. That was too close.

Behind her, Josh let out a small whine that seemed to echo through the night.

Sam froze, mind jumping to all sorts of thoughts. Did a Wendigo follow them down? Had the explosion not been enough? Her vision blurred as panic stirred inside her - but then she slowly turned, and every ounce of fear vanished.

Josh had managed to hook his dirty overalls on the catch of the door and was trying _futilely_ \- to get it free. With his claws though, he was only making it worse.

Laughing softly, Sam joined his attempts by gently taking the fabric and lifting it over the catch. It came free easily, leaving Sam to smile smugly. “There. God, your clumsier than Ashley now.”

He grinned back, all teeth and ripped skin, but he ducked his head, embarrassment blooming across his face. “Blame the cursed mountain, not me,” he quipped, and his smile widened, “besides, who was the one that flung herself across me less than a minute ago?”

Ah, __that__ was the Josh she remembered. It seemed his near-Wendigo experiences hadn’t changed his ability to be __infuriatingly__ charismatic.

Sticking out her tongue, Sam ignored him. “Come on, the motel is just around the corner. Thank God nobody’s around, because I don’t think we can hide you.”

“Right. Yeah.” Josh shifted, shoving his hands deep in the oversized pockets of his overalls.

Shit. “I didn’t mean it like that. God Josh, I’m sorry!” Panic rose, hands automatically reaching for Josh. What a thing to say! God, why did she have to fuck up _everything?_ Reaching out a hand, Sam pursed her lips tight to stop herself from saying something else.

He just smiled and shook his head though, a small smile curling at his lips. “Don’t worry about it, I know I’m not a pretty sight.” His smile was fragile, but it settled the guilt in Sam’s stomach.

Down here there was no snow - but the evening chill still made Sam shiver. With a frown she pulled her hoodie close, burying her face in the thick, woolen fabric. Things seemed _different,_ now that the mountain was so far behind them; like it had all just been a dream. Even looking at Josh now, with his torn face and milky eyes shining in the darkness, it was difficult to think of it all as real.

Turning the corner led them into a little side street; the first signs that there was actually a town at the mountain base. Yellow streetlights illuminated them as they strode through their beam, the first signs of life reaching Sam’s ears. A car horn, someone’s TV from an open window.

And up ahead was the motel; a solid, grey building with a faded neon sign looming over the tiny parking lot. Only half the letters lit up. In the middle of the parking lot sat Sam’s little red Citreon; it was almost as old as her.

“Come on.” Sam took his hand in hers, quickening her pace despite the fact this was barely a saunter for Josh’s stretched limbs. “There’s a change of clothes for you. We can figure out how to uh… cover your jaw.” She winced at her own words. Yeah, nice going Sam. Wasn’t she supposed to be _avoiding_ making her new Wendigo boyfriend feel bad?

Wait, __boyfriend__? Where had that thought come from?

Josh ducked low as they reached the car, although how well that actually hid him was debatable. At least it was dark; any cars that came speeding past wouldn’t see a thing.

Sam shoved her keys into the lock, smiling at the familiar _click_ of the door opening. In the back seat sat a lump of dark fabric; a t-shirt, jeans, hoodie and shoes. Lifting the shoes, though, it occured to her that Josh’s previous size nine was _definitely_ not going to cut it. Claws kind of made that difficult. Sighing, she simply shook her head and threw the clothes unceremoniously at Josh.

He caught them, spindly hands shooting out almost before she tossed them his way. He grinned at her, showing every sharp tooth in perfect detail. “Is this my X-Men hoodie? Damn, I almost forgot I had this.”

“You didn’t; __I__ did. You left all this stuff back in August when you and Chris stayed over, you dummy.” She grinned though, reaching up to ruffle his hair. Ew, __greasy.__  She tried to subtly wipe her hand on her jeans. They were both so filthy anyway it hardly mattered. “Now go change in the car.” _If you even fit,_ she added silently.

Josh twirled a finger, grinning. When Sam just stared blankly, his smirk grew. “Turn around Sammy. I know you’re dying to see me half naked but is this really the time?”

Cheeks flushing, Sam spun on her heel. “Sure! Let me know when you’re done!” She drew the strings of her hoodie tight, the hood closing around her face to hide the worst of her blushing. Jeez, she had __never__ been this bad before; and Josh had been flirting with her for __years.__ Sure, it was always just friendly banter.

Unless it wasn’t? Maybe he had genuinely been trying since the beginning. Groaning, Sam smacked her forehead. Really, had he been flirting for real this entire time? How oblivious was she?

A light tap to her shoulder made her jump, heart in her throat as if somehow Josh had _heard_ her thoughts - but then she broke into a grin when she saw him.

The jeans barely grazed his ankles, the converse left untied - probably for space, maybe because he couldn’t tie them himself. Even the hoodie barely fit, once so oversized it had doubled as a dress for her and Beth. He had never looked so cute.

Standing on her toes, Sam placed a gentle kiss to his forehead. “I think I’m about to pass out. I hope they have a room free.”

Josh raised a brow and glanced at the bland stone building. “Looking at the state of this place, it won’t be a problem.” He smiled gently - but when he grabbed her hand it was a little to firm, his palms a little too damp. “Are you sure this is a good idea?”

“Where else are we gonna sleep?”

“Yeah, good point.” He fell silent, head dipped low.

Sam softened, her heart warming at the sight of him. Leaning close, she pressed a kiss to his lips. The cool press of his exposed teeth against her lips made her smile. “You’ll be fine, I promise. No one is going to notice or care. Then first thing tomorrow we go home.”

“Right. It’s just like a road trip. A road trip that ends in me seeing the friends I tortured, and the parents who probably don’t want me any more.”

Pressing another kiss to his jaw, Sam sighed. “It’s going to suck, I know. But we took down a Wendigo; the we can deal with anything.”

He relaxed then, body slowly melting into her touch as she rubbed small circles around his wrist. “Yeah. Worry about it when it happens” He dropped his head into her shoulder with a quiet breath.

“If it happens. Everything will be __fine.__ If it isn’t, I’m here to help you through it. Always.”

After a beat of silence he nodded into her shoulder. “Thanks, Sammy. I don’t deserve you, but I’m damn glad you’re here.”

 


	17. Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really hope I'm not disappointing y'all by the lack of smut, but it's not something that interests me. I'm a fluff and angst person only ❤❤

_**Playlist** _   
_Love Like Ours by Estelle_  
 _Silver Lining by First Aid Kit_  
 _You've Got the Love by Florence + the Machine_  
[[link](https://www.deezer.com/en/playlist/4776968704)]

* * *

 

The rush of running water hit Sam's ears, the heat enveloping her from all sides as steam rose up around her. Closing her eyes, Sam slid the shower door closed and sighed. With her eyes still closed, Sam tilted her head back and let the water run down her face. It was as if she physically  _felt_ the blood and grime disappear down the drain.

She would have loved to stand there all night, but her legs were aching, the ever present pain in her thigh coupled with a hundred other cuts and bruises. At least the guy at the front desk, too tired to notice and probably too stoned to care, had only given them a curious once over as he handed Sam the room keys.

Wiping water from her eyes, Sam picked up the bottle of body wash sitting at her feet. It had that nasty chemical smell that tried too hard to be fruit - and she didn't trust it to do much in the way of actual  _ _cleaning -__ but just being able to shower properly was a novelty in itself.

Ten minutes later she stepped out of the shower. She cast the wonderful steaming water one last glance before turning the dial. The water shut off abruptly, and Sam was left wishing she could go back in. 

Once dry and properly clothed, Sam wound her hair up into a sloppy bun and crept back into the bedroom.

Josh lay in the middle of the double bed, curled up into a ball and surrounded by pillows. The cheap grey duvet was pulled up to his chin, but Sam saw from his outline that he had another pillow hugged to his chest. 

Grinning, Sam tiptoed over. There wasn't much room left for her - but if she curled up to him, pressed against his back,  _ _maybe__ she could do it without slipping off the edge of the bed. Josh slept soundly as she gently drew back the duvet and slid inside, and he didn't even noticed when she would a tanned arm around his waist. 

It was almost impossible to see in the darkness, even with the light from outside filtering through the thin curtains, but she was positive Josh was  _ _smiling.__ Good. He deserved to have things to smile about. With the dim light from the street casting dancing lights across his face, he looked the happiest Sam had seen him in a long time. He looked beautiful, too.

Smiling softly, Sam tucked herself close. He smelled of that same fake-lemon body wash and cheap shampoo, but Sam breathed in deep as she pulled herself close, snuggling into his side. Absently, the arm not holding him found his hair, the newly washed fluff gentle across her fingertips.

Tucked against her, Josh stirred. One milky eye cracked open, toothy jaws opening wide in a barely stifled yawn. 

"Hi," Sam spoke softly, hand still lazily stroking his thick curls, "I didn't mean to wake you."

Josh smiled, turning slightly to peck her cheek. The dim light cast a golden halo across his face, his white eyes almost sparkling. When he spoke it was the softest she had ever heard him. "You didn't. I just felt you beside me and wanted to say goodnight."

Sam felt herself  _ _melt,__ warmth spreading through her chest as she watched him stifle another quiet yawn.  _ _God,__ he was so gorgeous. Leaning forward Sam caught his lips with her own, the soft press of his teeth against her skin enough to make her heart stutter. "Goodnight," she murmered against his lips.

"'Night Sammy." His voice was almost a hum as he sank back into the pillows, a lazy smile slowly spreading across his features. He watched her through half lidded eyes that shone in the darkness of the room. Once, those silvery eyes had been a source of paralysing fear - now she was lost in them.

She hooked a leg over his to pull him to her, both arms encircling his waist as she buried her face in the crook of his neck. Josh's claw-tipped thumb drew gentle circles over the small of her back, careful and sweet.

As Sam drifted off, eyes slipping closed, she thought she heard him murmer something in her ear. It almost sounded like  _ _I love you.__

__\--------------------_ _

Sam brushed a hand through thick tangles of blonde hair, watching the thin slit of early morning light through the tiny bathroom window. With her ear pressed to the phone she couldn't hear much else, but Josh's quiet snores drifted through the door. 

She could have woken him up, but it seemed better to let him sleep. He deserved it.

"So you're coming home? Like,  _ _now?__ "

A laugh escaped her lips, her eyes crinkling as she watched herself in the ancient mirror. "Not right this second, but yeah. Once we stock up on stuff we need, we're coming home."

"Jesus,  _ _finally!__ I swear Sammy, it feels like you've been gone for years." The signal was better here than up on the mountain, but Chris' voice crackled. It didn't hide the laugh in his voice though, or the barely concealed cheer  _ _desperate__ to escape his lips.

Sam smiled. "Trust me, it feels infinitely longer for me. Don't freak out, but Josh and I got pretty hurt yesterday." Glancing up, Sam was met with her own reflection. Even after a full night's rest the dark circles under her eyes were as prominent as ever. They had made a permanent home there. Huffing quietly, Sam turned away. "But we're fine, I promise. I'm just glad I can finally take Josh home."

"Make sure I'm the first to see him, okay? After his parents, obviously." 

"We still haven't figured out our story yet. That's going to be the toughest part." She leaned against the cool tile of the bathroom wall, squinting through the crack of the open door. "Anyway, we need to get packing before we get kicked out of this motel. So I'll see you later."

There was a beat of silence, then Chris sighed heavily. Sam practically  _ _felt__ his disappointment through the phone. "Right. Later Sammy. Keep me updated."

"I always do. See ya."

The silence following the call seemed to echo off the walls, so thick it made Sam shift uncomfortably where she stood. It was weird, really. Up on the mountain, with the threat of the Wendigo looming over them, peace had seemed so far away. Now they  _ _had it,__ and Sam didn't know what to do with it at all. Normal was just... unsettling.

Leaving her phone on the glass shelf above the sink, Sam cracked open the bathroom door.

There he was, still swaddled in blankets the way she had left him. Her call hadn't woken him up, but now she had the task of actually  _ _trying__ to get him to wake.

Her bare feet barely made a sound as she padded over, sliding onto her side of the bed and reaching over to gently prod his side. He was still so  _ _skinny,__ her finger touching what felt like bare bone instead of soft, pliable flesh. Josh stirred, but only buried himself deeper into the pile of covers and pillows.

"Come on, time to wake up," Sam murmered and, careful to avoid aggravating the injuries scattered across his pale body, nudged his shoulder with the flat of her hand.

Eyelids blinked open to reveal those beautiful white-blue eyes. With the weak morning light filtering through the window he looked  _ _breathtaking__ in a way she had never thought of him before. Sam had seen him in the morning before - staying over with Beth and Hannah, or the two of them falling asleep on the sofa. But she had never seen him like  _ _this.__ It took her breath away.

Josh's thick brows creased as he rolled over; but then he caught sight of Sam - wearing only her ragged t-shirt from the night before and a pair of dark purple boxers - and a lazy grin spread across his face. Even without the razors marring one side, it would have been  _ _devilish.__

Sam simply rolled her eyes and leaned in for a kiss. Their lips met; hers soft and gentle, his chapped and rough with scars - and suddenly Josh's arms looped around her. A shriek left her lips as he pulled her on top of him - but it melted into a burst of laughter as his other arm secured her in place. "Josh, what are you up to?" A smile tugged at the corner of her lips as she rested her chin against his chest. 

He placed a gentle kiss to the top of her head and a few blonde strands fell in her eyes. Reaching out a clawed hand, Josh gently brushed the stray hair behind her ear. 

The claws ghosting across her skin made her shiver as she let out a quiet sigh. Letting her eyes slip closed, Sam listened to the rhythmic  _ _thud thud__ of his heart.

She could get used to this.

"Hey Sammy?" Josh's morning voice was rough, almost a  _ _growl,__ but as he spoke her name it sounded even huskier.

"Yeah, Josh?"

"I know we were supposed to leave early, but how about we stay a little longer?" The arm still hooked around her waist shifted, easily scooping her and pulling her up to eye height. When Sam blinked her eyes open, Josh was grinning up at her. "I kinda like us both here, you know? I don't want to leave."

She had to admit, with his fluffy curls of hair all tousled and that sleepy smirk on his face, Sam didn't want to leave either. Even with his jutting cheekbones and ragged lips, there was something so  _ _soft__ about him that she couldn't describe.

With a gentle smile, Sam lowered her face to gently sweep her lips across his. "Sure, I think we can do that."

The light peeking through the curtains was almost too bright as morning made itself known -  no longer was it a pleasant early morning haze - but Sam didn't have the heart to complain. Just being there, Josh's arms wrapped around her, was enough.

"So, uh..."

"Hm?" Sam's bright eyes flickered up, but it was impossible to tell what Josh was thinking. She  _ _could__ have put it down to not understanding the emotion on his newly scarred up face, but that wasn't it. She always used to think she understood him perfectly - there was no place for that kind of naivety any more.

"I just - well, I never thanked you properly for all this. You know I'm no good at that kind of stuff." He smiled gently - but it was the uneasy kind of smile she had never seen on Josh's lips until this week.

Carefully propping her arms up, Sam slipped away from Josh to face him properly. A frown curled at the edges of her lips, an odd kind of disappointment settling in her stomach. Really, they were doing this now? It was a selfish thought, but one that prodded at her mind without her consent. Sighing, Sam shook her head. "You don't have to say anything. I did what I did because I love you, and because there was no way in hell I could rest, not knowing what happened to you."

She expected a sarcastic quip, or some stupid attempt at flirting - but instead all she received was a wide eyed stare. For the first time, Josh was at a loss for words - and Sam couldn't figure out  _ _why.__  His full lips parted as if to speak, but there was nothing. 

Anxiety bubbled up as she watched him silently. Then it clicked. Her cheeks flushed scarlet as she dropped herself onto the bed with a dull  _ _thud.__ Her hands fumbled for the nearest pillow, brain alight with the realisation of her mistake. Those words should  _ _never__ have left her mouth. Now what?

Just as Sam's hand found purchase on a pillow, intent on smothering her face instead of facing Josh, his hand curled around hers. It was so gentle, so light she almost didn't feel it - until he brought her hand to his chest. The pulse beneath her palm was as rapid as her own, the rhythmic  _ _thump thump__ almost soothing. As Sam's own heartbeat returned to normal, the sheer panic fading to a tingly sort of nervousness, she chanced at peek at Josh.

"You  _ _love me?"__

A nervous laugh escaped her lips, too high pitched even to her own ears. Wincing, she ducked her head. "Yeah, I do. I mean, I've loved you for years but I never figured it was  _ _this__ kind of love, you know?"

"But you still love me." Josh paused, and although she  _ _couldn't__ look at him she pictured the cheesy grin slowly spreading across his handsome features. "Seems like a pretty questionable choice, but I'll take it."

A firm but careful hand pressed against her chin, the claws cool against her skin. With a gentle tug Josh tilted her head, forcing her to meet his eyes. She must have looked a state, all frizzy hair and flushed skin - if she could have disappeared in that moment, Sam would have. 

But when Josh looked at her, there was a softness in his gaze that she wasn't used to, a tenderness to his smile she had only seen a handful of times before. His lips met hers, careful and slow and light enough she could have pulled away if she wanted. Then, in the quietest voice she had ever head before, Josh whispered, "I love you too."

In a flash of realisation, Sam recalled the night  before. As she drifted off, curled around Josh's slender body, she had heard those words, in that exact loving tone, so quietly she had assumed it was a mistake.

Josh fucking Washington had confessed his love for her -  _ _twice.__ She  _ _had__ to be dreaming - and if she was, Sam never wanted to wake up.

A laugh burst from deep within her chest, her eyes  _ _sparkling__ as she crushed her lips against Josh's.  He laughed too, a sound so bright it was almost  _ _musical.__

Just like that the Washington Mountain washed away. There was only  _ _them,__ lying together in a dirty motel room hundreds of miles from home. None of that mattered - because they had each other.

There was a hell of a lot they still had to work through, but Sam was never,  _ _ever__ going to let him go again.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaand this is it folks! The fic is FINISHED, but this isn't the end of Josh & Sam!
> 
> Special shoutout to ClumsyBookwork18 for sticking with me since the beginning, and to Meiying & WonderAss for their lovely comments! Thanks to everyone else too. Love y'all ❤❤❤❤❤
> 
> There's a dozen other fics I want to work on, but keep an eye out for a possible sequel feat. Chris!


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